Celebrating your vulva: health, pleasure, and everything in between

Today is a reminder of something that should never be taboo but, unfortunately, still leaves us feeling shame and confusion: celebrating your vulva in all its glory.

This beautiful, powerful part of the body has been shrouded in silence, stigma, and shame, and even today, the word makes some uncomfortable.

Yet the vulva isn’t just a part of our anatomy, it’s a centre of health, pleasure, and identity that deserves respect and celebration even when we have been taught to turn away from it, hide it, or see it only through the lens of judgement.

Unfortunately, society has conditioned many of us to feel disconnected from our vulvas. We’re told not to look, not to touch, not to speak about them.

But ignoring this part of ourselves can impact not only our confidence but also our wellbeing. So today, let’s turn the focus back where it belongs: learning about, caring for, and celebrating your vulva, because it’s yours, and it deserves your attention.

The knowledge gap: what most women were never taught

The statistics on how little women know about their own anatomy are genuinely startling.

In a survey of 1,000 British women, 44% were unable to identify the vagina on a medical illustration of the female reproductive tract. Even fewer could identify the vulva, with 60% failing at this task. Overall, only one third of the women surveyed could correctly label all six parts of the female reproductive system.

Research published in 2024 confirmed that knowledge of female genital anatomy and physiology remains frequently inadequate or incorrect among women, and that precise conversations about the vulva and vagina are often inhibited by a reluctance or inability to speak accurately about them, with the two terms used interchangeably.

This is not a personal failing. It is the predictable result of an education system and a culture that taught women to look away.

Many people use the word “vagina” to describe the whole external genital area, but the vagina is actually internal. The vulva is everything on the outside: the labia, clitoris, urethral opening and vaginal entrance. Knowing the correct language is powerful in itself. It is the first step toward being able to advocate for your own health.

Get to know your vulva: facts you might not know

Every vulva looks different. Just like faces, vulvas come in every shape, size and colour. Labia may be tucked in, asymmetrical or protruding, and all of it is normal. There is no such thing as a “perfect” vulva, despite what airbrushed imagery might suggest.

Your vulva changes over time. As we age, so does our vulva. It may change in shape, colour and natural lubrication levels, particularly during and after menopause.

Your vulva is self-cleaning, but only inside. The vagina naturally maintains its own pH balance. The external vulva still needs care: gentle washing with warm water and avoiding harsh soaps is best to prevent irritation.

Hormones influence your vulva. Oestrogen keeps vulval tissue plump and elastic. During menopause, lower oestrogen levels can make the area drier or more sensitive. This is normal and manageable with the right support.

It is connected to your whole body. Pelvic floor muscles, blood flow and the nervous system all impact how your vulva feels. Stress, illness and certain medications can all change sensation or desire.

The more you understand your vulva, the easier it becomes to care for it, not as something mysterious or shameful, but as a vital part of your health and pleasure.

The clitoris: what it actually is and why it matters for orgasm

This deserves its own section, because most of us were never properly taught about it.

What we can see on the outside, the small, sensitive structure at the top of the vulva, is only the tip of a much larger internal organ. The full clitoris extends several centimetres into the body, with internal legs and bulbs that swell with blood during arousal and wrap around the vaginal canal. It contains around 8,000 nerve endings, more than anywhere else in the human body.

This matters enormously when it comes to understanding female orgasm. The vast majority of women need direct or indirect clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Penetration alone does not reliably stimulate the clitoris, which is why so many women have spent years wondering what is wrong with them when the answer was simply anatomy.

Nothing is wrong. We were just never taught how our bodies actually work.

Understanding clitoral anatomy is not just interesting trivia. It is the foundation of understanding your own pleasure. 

Vulvar health: what the numbers tell us

The silence around the vulva does not just affect our relationship with pleasure. It has real, measurable consequences for our health.

Research suggests that between 10% and 28% of women will experience chronic vulvar pain at some point in their lives. Yet nearly 40% of women with these symptoms never seek treatment at all.

A major study on vulvar pain found that almost half of the women experiencing chronic pain waited between one and five years before receiving an accurate diagnosis. That is years of pain, normalised and endured in silence.

A UK survey of 2,000 women found that one in five did not seek help for symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction because they were too embarrassed to do so.

A systematic review on women’s help-seeking behaviour confirmed that stigma, lack of knowledge and the belief that clinicians would dismiss their symptoms were the primary barriers stopping women from seeking care for pelvic and vulvar health issues.

These numbers are not abstract. They represent real women living with pain, discomfort and unanswered questions because no one ever told them it was acceptable to ask.

Knowing your vulva, understanding what is normal for you, and feeling confident enough to speak to a doctor when something changes is not vanity. It is healthcare.

Tips for loving your vulva: from health to pleasure

1. Prioritise vulva health

Gentle hygiene. Avoid fragranced washes or douching, which disrupt your natural microbiome. Warm water is enough, and if needed, a pH-balanced cleanser made for intimate care.

Breathable fabrics. Cotton underwear, or going without at night, helps reduce irritation and supports vulval health.

Regular check-ins. Get comfortable looking at your vulva in a mirror. Notice what is normal for you so you can spot changes quickly. Early awareness is genuinely powerful and could save your life.

Do not ignore discomfort. Pain, burning or itching is not something to live with. From infections to skin conditions, treatments exist. Speak to a doctor if something does not feel right, including during sex.

Stay on top of cervical screenings. Early detection of cervical changes is one of the most important things you can do for your long-term health.

2. Embrace pleasure without shame

Explore with touch. Solo practice is a meaningful way to understand your vulva on your own terms. Experiment with touch, pressure and sensation. Learning what actually feels good to you, rather than what you think should feel good, is how you start to reclaim pleasure.

Focus on arousal, not orgasm. The journey matters as much as the destination. Let go of the pressure to perform and lean into sensation instead. When you learn to feel rather than think, orgasm often follows. And if it does not, that is also completely fine.

Stay curious. Your pleasure map changes over time. What feels good now may be different in a year, after a baby, or after menopause. Keep exploring with openness, and give yourself permission to not have it all figured out.

3. Reframe the narrative and take back the power

Challenge the shame. If you catch yourself feeling embarrassed about your vulva, pause and ask: where did this belief actually come from? Most of the time it is something absorbed from culture, pornography, or deeply inadequate sex education. It was not yours to begin with.

Celebrate its uniqueness. Mirror exploration, sensual self-massage, or simply spending time looking at your vulva without judgement can slowly change your relationship with it. Your vulva is not ugly. It is yours.

Normalise the conversation. The more we speak openly with trusted friends and partners, the less taboo it becomes. For everyone.

When orgasm feels difficult or out of reach

If exploring your vulva has brought up questions about orgasm, you are not alone. Many women discover, often quite late, that they have never fully understood their own anatomy, or that shame and disconnection have quietly been getting in the way of pleasure.

This is common. It is also something that can change.

Working with a somatic coach or sex educator can help you rebuild that connection with your body in a way that feels safe and genuinely yours. Not a quick fix, not a performance. A real process of learning to inhabit your body differently.

If that sounds interesting, you can explore women’s experiences on Sensuali to find something that resonates.

Why celebrating your vulva matters

When you celebrate your vulva, you are not just reclaiming your sexuality. You are reclaiming your power and building a healthier, more honest relationship with your own body. You are saying yes to health, yes to pleasure, and yes to confidence in your own skin.

Caring for your vulva is not indulgent. It is essential. Exploring it is not dirty. It is empowering. And celebrating it is not taboo. It is overdue.

Give yourself permission to look, touch, talk about and enjoy your vulva. Get curious. Explore. Take care of it.

Explore with a sex educator on Sensuali

If learning more about your vulva has sparked curiosity, you don’t have to explore alone. On Sensuali, you can connect with trusted sex educators and intimacy professionals who offer guidance, workshops, and one-to-one experiences centred on the body, pleasure, and self-understanding.

Whether you want to deepen your knowledge, ask questions in a safe space, or explore pleasure and intimacy with support, Sensuali makes it possible to find educative short pleasure courses, both immersive or purely talk based which help you to understand your body more fully, build confidence, and reconnect with pleasure on your own terms.

Explore all Experiences in Wellness & Education

April Maria

Author

April Maria is a qualified sex educator, sex and relationships coach and training psychosexual and relationships therapist. For the last four years, April has been working in the field of sex education, sex tech and pleasure, endometriosis awareness and helping others when it comes to sexual wellness, intimacy, dating and relationships.