They say intelligence is more alluring than being physically attractive. But what exactly is a sapiosexual and how do you know if you are one? In this article we will dive deep into the world of sapiosexuality and hopefully by the end you will know once and for all if you are indeed sapiosexual.
Let’s start with the basics, sapiosexuality can be defined as a type of sexuality where someone is attracted to the content of a person’s mind instead of their physical appearance. This is perhaps a person who requires to be stimulated mentally before magic can be made in the bedroom. Potential partners for a sapiosexual need to be able to mentally stimulate their date and spark interesting and thought-provoking conversations before romance can blossom.
For people who identify as being sapiosexual, someone’s intelligence and how they think is what makes them attractive. We can think of attraction forming in the brain, and when someone who is sapiosexual becomes intellectually stimulated, then their body starts to react and a true connection is formed. If they are not intellectually on the same page, then sexual attraction is not there – even if the person is built like a Greek god.
Who is saying they’re sapiosexual?
The term sapiosexual is in fact relatively new. It is formed from the Latin root word ‘sapien’ meaning wise and ‘sexualis’ meaning sexual. Research has found that between 1% and 8% of 18-35 year olds identify with being sapiosexual.
That being said anyone can identify with being a sapiosexual. It doesn’t matter if you are heterosexual, LGBTQ+ or asexual – sapiosexuals come in all shapes and sizes! It just depends on how you identify and what sort of partner you are looking for.
There has however been some controversy surrounding people identifying with being Sapiosexual. Critics argue that it is not a legitimate sexuality – rather simply a type of attraction. Some have even called out the term sapiosexual as being ableist and Western-centric as the way of measuring intelligence through someone’s IQ can be biased and not consider other factors.
Sapiosexuals however argue that intellect is more than just a quality they appreciate in their partner, rather it’s the primary force behind their sexual attraction. Just in the same way that conventional good looks are seen as highly desired in society.
How do I know if I am a sapiosexual?
Now have laid out the definition of what it means to be Sapiosexual we get to the juicy bit. Finding out whether or not you could be Sapiosexual yourself. Here are some tell-tale signs:
Deep conversations are your love language
OK, so you like to date and sure physical attractiveness is great. But what really gets you going is diving into deep conversations. If your ideal date ends up with you locking eyes with your partner and putting the world to rights then maybe you are a Sapiosexual.
Intelligence over muscles
Listen, we’re all friends here – if someone who could be classed as a “geek” gets you going then maybe sapiosexuality is for you. Instead of going after those who are conventionally attractive, you prefer people who have a lot to say about a certain subject. If having an intellectual conversation with someone leads you to be romantically stimulated – then maybe you are Sapiosexual.
Romance can only form with an intellectual connection
For some people, going to a party or bar and scanning the room for the hottest person is enough to get them ready to flirt. However, maybe you are someone who needs to dive into a deep chat first before you can form feelings of lust and connection. This is totally valid and normal and a way that most Sapiosexuals feel about forming romance.
Where do I find sapiosexuals?
If you want to find the most intellectual people then attending libraries or lectures could be a great place to start. Think about going to a book shop, or a cafe and sussing out the local talent. Maybe this could lead to you sparking a conversation that leads to a date. Once the conversation starts flowing you will be able to have a back-and-forth that hits the spot. Being intellectually stimulated can lead you to open up more and before you know it romance forms.
The online world is filled with people who identify as being sapiosexual. If you want to find people on the same page as you check out Sensuali where you can browse hundreds of profiles including finding people with Sapiosexuality on their profiles. It’s worth a try and who knows what your next intellectual-based experience could entail? 😉
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Drew
Drew, aka Wise and Manly is a sexuality coach helping people to love themselves. As a bisexual man, he makes content about owning and embracing your sexuality as well as accepting your authentic self.
