'Our sexuality is a piece of us that needs to be reinvestigated with kindness, curiosity and time.' We chatted with Chloe Macintosh, sex educator and founder of Kama, the app helping people discover their body and pleasure through everyday practices.
Chloe Macintosh is the founder of Kama, an app focused on sexuality and pleasure education.
After a successful career in the corporate world, Chloe created Kama in 2020, a lifestyle brand and application that offers various everyday practices, courses, and tutorials, to help people have a healthier, and more fulfilling sex and relationship life. We had an enlightening conversation about the importance of shifting our societal perspective on sex, and treating it with the care and seriousness it deserves.
I am Chloe Macintosh, I am French-born, but most of my career was in London where I spent 25 years. I then moved to Ibiza one year ago.
Chloe Macintosh: sex educator & founder of Kama
My mission is to make pleasure and intimacy a more integral part of our everyday life.
When we repair our relationship to our body, and sexuality, and pleasure, we liberate ourselves from layers of conditioning which no longer serve us.
I researched the fields of intimacy and sexuality for almost 20 years as a personal interest. I started my career as an architect and worked at Norman Fosters’s London practice for 9 years, before shifting to technology, and becoming an entrepreneur myself. I was living a relatively ‘normal’ life at the time – I was married and I have 2 sons who are now 17 and 19.
My personal journey is often easy to identify with, which is why I can reach a more mainstream audience, translating and practicalising concepts and practices that can be otherwise quite abstract, like Tantra for example.
Kama is designed for those who are starting their journey with sexual wellbeing, and it’s also a tool to explore deeper, if you are curious to explore specific topics such as learning how to squirt, mindful masturbation, how to turn jealousy into arousal, how to have more pleasurable penetration, different types of orgasms, or how to last longer in bed etc..
The idea with Kama is to create a platform that can help us revive, remember and be curious about our sexuality, our desires, while addressing the potential blocks that are in the way.
What I have found is that when we feel more in touch with ourselves, turned on by life, and we have a daily practice, the impact goes well beyond the bedroom.
When we get to know ourselves better, we become more self-reliant with our pleasure, empowered to know our desires, and boundaries.
Chloe Macintosh.
Sex work is like spiritual work. Arousal and pleasure are tools to improve our well-being.
I love what you’re doing with Sensuali as you are creating a space where people can find reputable practitioners, allowing them to reimagine what exploring your sexuality with a professional can be.
With Kama, I am providing education, self-knowledge and guidance, so that people can make informed decisions when they come to a platform like Sensuali.
What turns you on?
I have a very different idea about what turns me on these days. It’s about all the ways that I can feel alive. What is lighting me up, what inspires me. Noticing what moves energy inside me.
I am also always looking to find more spaces where sexuality is free and open. This is what I create with my workshops and retreats. Bringing people together who are curious to discover all the ways that we can be intimate, and enjoy connection and pleasure.
How can Kama help people?
Kama is a resource, it exists as a bridge between porn, that disregards any education and a medical website, which advises about the risks of sex. The reason i created Kama is simply because there is a huge gap, and it’s creating so many challenges that could be avoided with better information and new models, for sex and intimacy.
Kama is research based, and brings together ancient wisdom such as Daoism and Tantra, together with neurosciences, psychosexuality and somatic awareness.
We create educational tutorials and practices that help you create the long term shifts. regardless of your gender, sexuality, age or relationship status.
Because we don’t get educated around sex, and what is portrayed by the media is not real, most people have a lot of challenges to deal with before they can fully embrace pleasure.
We also help people learn to communicate and embody their desires and boundaries better, so the communication becomes more intuitive; it’s less and less about talking and more about learning to feel how the other person feels: How are they breathing? Is their body stiff? Are they making sounds?
Chloe Macintosh.
Many people don’t realise that sexuality is a practice. It is by changing something we do, around masturbation, or intimacy, that we can create the shift that we are yearning for. We get told that great sex will happen when we meet the right partner, who will know how to open us up. Great sex is about knowing ourself and asking for what we want.
On Kama, we offer courses and guided practices focused on a specific question. We take people on a journey to unlock what is already there, by releasing shame, resensitising the body, boosting arousal, or simply learning to be more present with sensations through practising interoceptive awareness. Everyone can have multiple orgasms, or squirt, or have sex for hours – it’s simply about wanting to explore, and being kind to yourself.
A peek inside Kama App.Inside Kama App.
The number 1 issue that people come to Kama with is ‘I’m stuck in my head during intimacy’, which disconnects us from the present moment and our ability to connect.
On the app we support people with a lot of mini practices that can easily fit into our daily lives. The idea is to make small incremental changes that can, in time, transform how we experience intimacy and pleasure.
Chloe Macintosh.
A big evolution for me has been learning to focus on the somatic and sensorial experience as a way to be fully present and be able to receive. That way it is the physical sensations that drive my experience, without having to imagine a scene in my head.
Are there any more barriers people are facing towards having better sex?
I think there are three main areas.
Issues coming from conditioning. Our environment, how your family expressed love, was sexuality discussed or taboo, did you feel invited to explore your pleasure, what nudity normalised or not. What were the societal norms and standards around the body, age, freedom of expression.
Then from your personal experiences with other people. Do you notice patterns in your relationships, do you find that your boundaries are respected, are you able to express them clearly? How do you feel naked in front of partners etc.
This will define your general arousal landscape. All the triggers that turn you on, or not. If you have shame or trauma coming from your upbringing or past experiences, it will show up in your relationships.
I have discovered that when it comes to pleasure, where we have shame, is where we need to connect. Where we have pain, is where we need to care, and where there is fear, is where we need to explore.
Do you have any physical practices to get out of our heads and into our bodies?
When we talk about ‘somatic’, we talk about the layer that’s just under the skin and just above the muscle. Through physical practices we can help co-regulate the nervous system. If you have a partner you can try to spend 10-20 minutes a day giving each other what you desire in terms of pleasure and relaxation, without any expectation for sex. This is a space to explore touch, connection, sensuality, and be present with the sensations as they arise.
On the app we also offer resensitisation practices, which help with pain or numbness.
In today’s world, we’re all hyper stimulated, everything is fast, noisy and busy, making it hard for us to feel or sense things. Sensory Mindfulness is the practice of connecting to our senses as a way to get out of our head, and into our body. It’s about being more present to enjoy smelling, tasting, feeling, touching, voicing, breathing etc.
Since starting Kama, what have you learnt about yourself and your sexuality?
At first, Kama was a research project. I wanted to understand myself better. I then became curious about the various aspects that make the current sex industry. I spoke to strippers, medical professionals, porn actors and directors, researchers, tech leaders, politicians etc. I spent years unpacking the various constructs that were conditioning me, and many around me.
Chloe Macintosh.
I began to discover that knowledge and learning is an embodied experience. I used to learn in my head, but then I realised you can also do this in the body.
The body is able to capture information about the world, about people, energy and sensitivity. I also run workshops and retreats, and I have really grown to be able to relate to people in a way that feels more considerate. This is a skill we can all benefit from.
We need to learn how to touch each other, even in the workplace for example, without feeling that we’re doing something wrong. We’re currently at risk of being disconnected by fear. We mustn’t move away from connection.
The most beautiful part of this journey has been finding the ability to connect more deeply and truthfully with people.
What advice would you give to someone who is ready to begin this new journey of pleasure and connection?
Follow Kama Lab on Instagram. Use your intuition to explore what makes you curious. If there’s something specific you want to address, you have an issue, or you are looking for something specific, try the Kama app. It has been designed as a resource, a library of topics, tutorials and guided practices.
If you have a partner, you could propose to start a ‘weekly ritual’ to explore some of the couples practices. If you don’t have a partner, it might be a great time to deepen the connection to your own body, explore your desires, and turn ons by looking at self pleasure as a wellness practice.
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
Chloe Macintosh
Author
Chloe Macintosh is a sex educator and founder of Kama App, the platform helping people understand their pleasure.
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Episode 5 of the Sensuali podcast features the extraordinary Chloe Macintosh, sex educator and founder of Kama, the platform helping people to revive their sex lives and understand their desires.
