Dick Pics: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

When it comes to sharing shaft online, it truly feels like the wild wild west out there especially when people get caught in the crossfire. An unfortunate story that’s way too common on social media platforms. This article will be a little bit of show and tell of my art along with giving some much needed sexting advice to the men out there so you don’t end up ruining someone’s day and be in my next painting. 

Unwanted dick pics and my art series

The “Law & Order: Dick Pic Unit” is a very different series from my erotic art. These paintings aren’t treated with love and care like the penises I normally paint. I always approach my work with the notion of honour and admiration as I’m in the presence of beauty far greater than myself. These are quite literally investigations and I don’t pick them.

Even when it comes to my palette, I only give what’s left after the end of the day. Dried up batches of paint and dust give each composition a repelling tactile look framed in the Instagram inbox format. It’s almost abstract, but everyone knows what it is and they already know the context without reading the title since it’s a common experience for far too many people.

So how does one become a dick pic gun for hire? It is helpful to be friends with a wonderful artist named Betty (femme.castratrice). I became a huge fan of her work when I first found her profile on Instagram and from there we became friends very quickly. While chatting on the phone together, the subject of dicks naturally came up and she told me about an unsolicited picture she received of a penis in a sushi takeaway box.

It still makes me simultaneously laugh and stare into a blank space while questioning things, but she did say “what if you painted it?” So the dick with half eaten sushi was the first one in the series. If it wasn’t for Betty, we wouldn’t be here talking about this right now. Let’s not forget that she took the finished painting and brought it up a whole new level in the most beautiful way. If you’re fan of this series in any way, give your love and support to Betty. All the help and comfort this series has given people is in thanks to her.

A part of the painting is the post itself on Instagram. We criticize the platform that claims to be protecting its users through strict and opaque community guidelines. To no one’s surprise, they tried to take down the painting itself because it’s considered “harassment” To who? The guy who said “fuck your boundaries, here’s my dick” and got his feelings hurt by a painter in Paris?

How many people have reported accounts for cyber flashing and harassment with no result yet Meta is efficient at removing any notion of a non cis male nipple to proudly claim their app is a safe space?

Clearly the terms of service is a cute concept made for the company’s shareholders that doesn’t prevent or punish men who stalk and threaten women/femmes online. I’ve reported these accounts on behalf of others and nothing has happened. You’re lucky to get any form of tangible follow up. Hell, I’ve even received an open death threat myself and Meta still left his profile up despite countless reports. At least we get to sleep better at night knowing we’re protecting shareholder value by keeping those nipples away from our paid advertisements. 

The series continued shortly after the first painting and a system was established from the start. Someone who received unsolicited photos would message me and ask if I’d be interested in making a painting. They’d forward the screenshots that always included the predictable slut shaming and insults when their undesired photoshoot was met with a no.

I don’t charge anything for these pieces. No money, no favors, no anything because it would be ethically wrong to profit off trauma. When the painting is done, I send the original to the person who messaged me. They can do whatever they want with it. Sell it, bury it, put it up on the wall, use it as a Frisbee, set it on fire, etc as long as they find some sense of peace or just know someone cares about an all too common problem.

The only business here is trying to do the right thing and hopefully prevent men from repeating a harmful pattern. If consent was understood and social media platforms actually cared about protecting its users by taking this seriously, this series wouldn’t exist. Yet here we are. 

I can’t help but feel like I’m in my own phallic themed season of True Detective.

People think I use special tools to find information about the senders when in reality men tend to have all the details of their lives posted on their own profiles. This speaks more of the lack of accountability or fear of consequences when it comes to sending unsolicited nudes. Full government names, pictures and tags of their wives, photos of their kids in their school uniforms, fully displayed license plates of their cars, geotagging their place of work, visible tattoos, etc. This is the male privilege in full force.

It’s easy to find out everything because these men don’t believe it’s a problem. Compare it to anyone else online how they do their best to avoid being stalked and harassed because of these types of guys. The burner accounts are the real cowards but even then, you guys have too much ego and follow your main accounts because you want to feel important. Male violence is real and we’ve seen too many times the horrific outcomes of when men get rejected. 

I don’t mean to sound threatening with that paragraph, but karma is when your unchallenged beliefs in a patriarchal system meet accountability. When I post one of my pieces, I do my best to be hopeful for change. Rehabilitation and lessons do make a difference to whoever might be reading it.

The main reason I never tag the sender or call them out directly is because of safety. I’m not talking about my safety, but the safety of the person who was a victim. Men like this won’t pick a fight with me despite my DMs being open. They feel superior and let their insecurities drive them to attack women online.

If you double down with me I have no problem sending screenshots to your wife, your boss, and even the principal at your kid’s school. If you play dirty, I’ll just roll up my sleeves. I try my best to support the person who asked me for help while also speaking to men as a whole about this problem. It’s not about vengeance, but you changing your behaviour so you can be a better version of yourself. 

How to send an (actually sexy) dick pic

So, the big question is how do you send a good dick pic? We’re at the good part now and it all starts with consent. You can’t avoid it, fellas.

Personally, I don’t know how you guys just message strangers with pictures of full on erections. I have a hard time rehearsing what I’m going to say at the register when I buy my groceries.

Regardless of who it is you want to exchange with, you have to ask for consent. It can come in many different forms that are as simple as “Can I send you some naughty pictures?” or “Would you be open to some photos?”  It’s not rocket science. Talking is extremely sexy and it sets the mood.

Consider it a key ingredient like foreplay when you’re being naughty with someone online. As a fan of sexting, the build-up is the best part. You’re sharing a moment together and letting their words rile up your imagination. You’re weaving in images with these personal tales of desire. It’s live action sexy story time. 

When it comes to your catalogue of pictures, I got some pro tips on how to share your tip. The main one being objectify yourselves more. We love it and don’t be shy.

There’s more to your body than just your genitals. If you’re not sure what to do, try recreating images you find hot on your own. That’s self-love right there.

Sharing images for the first time with someone can feel intimidating and we can feel insecure in how they’ll be received. Don’t be afraid to ask what they’d like to see. If we storyboard dick pics, we should be seeing full nude veins and balls in the third act. Show the outline in your clothes or sheets. Include your legs, stomach, and hands as you progress.

You’re sexier than you think and I’m sure the person chatting with you wants every bit of you. Tease them a bit and build it up by telling them how much you want them. Get the sultry lighting if you can and take your clothes off bit by bit. Mirrors are your friend and never be shy to keep talking in between. Feel their eyes on you and treat their words like their fingers are tracing over you. There’s so much room to play together. 

Your body is beautiful and I’m more than positive you have a gorgeous penis. There’s no doubt people would love to have all kinds of spicy experiences with you. The only thing that makes you ugly is when you send those pics without consent. It doesn’t matter if you’re shaved, the size, the angles, etc. because unsolicited pictures reveal you have no respect to who you’re sending them to.

It feels like you’ve weaponized your body to break their boundaries. If you got too excited during a chat and sent one off, I hope you apologize. You can walk it back, but you have to mean it. The “it’s not illegal yet” argument is weird. It’s like saying you know all the ages of consent in each country. It’s a very slippery slope and you’re covered in grease. Don’t be that guy.

Some people would say pay for dick ratings from a sex worker but if we made a Venn diagram of the men who send unsolicited pictures and the men who demonize sex workers, it would be a circle. Your very shitty mentality can result in putting someone in harm’s way.

Don’t be a dick when you share your dick

I don’t feel there’s much left to say about this.

How many ways can I say don’t be a dick when you share your dick?

There are definitely other people who are combating this ongoing problem in far more efficient and brilliant ways. You should support them and you should take the time to read more articles on Sensuali about intimacy online. Be mindful in the way you hear your friend’s talk and how you talk when it comes to this subject.

Unfortunately, I don’t think this painting series will end anytime soon. I’m clearly outnumbered when it comes to how many times this happens online, but it’s not going to stop me from doing the right thing. I can’t give up because I might not see this positive shift happen in my lifetime. These conversations are worth having. I’d rather see you change for the better than have to put you in the dirt. 

Find Armando Cabba on Sensuali.

Read: Paying for your porn and why men should stop yelling

Armando Cabba

Author

Armando Cabba is an artist originally from Montreal. His body of work primarily consist of the duality of portraiture and abstraction along with everything in between. Armando’s work is held in private collections in North America and Europe. After a few years working independently in Italy, he moved to Paris where he currently continues to create.