The first time I got a glimpse into erotic photography was in my early twenties – I was mesmerised by the artistry and the arousal that swam through me. Black and white images of women wearing kink gear, a man laced in shibari ropes, blindfolded and waiting to be pleasured. The photographs captured an erotic moment and drew me into a fantasy I didn’t know was lurking beneath the surface of my mind.
Since that moment, I have joyfully explored being in front of and behind the camera, bringing to life an array of erotic photographs and thirst trap moments. Not only can “sexy selfies” and more professional kink-inspired photoshoots be an erotic experience for the viewer, it can be a deeply powerful and liberating moment for the model too. I have witnessed photography transform self-confidence and help people tap into their sensuality, on a personal and professional level.
My journey into erotic photography ☝️
I’m sure I’m not alone when I tell you there was a time when I couldn’t think of anything more uncomfortable than stripping down into my lingerie or baring all in the nude and being photographed. The awkwardness around seeming “sexy” and the fear of who might see the image if it got into the wrong hands meant I shied away from the camera. If a lover or potential interest asked for a pic, I would seize up with premature embarrassment, scared of the judgement that might come my way.
A lot of this fear came from thinking I wasn’t attractive or sexy enough. I’m a hairy, bearded woman and most models were smooth skinned, “perfectly” formed individuals that I couldn’t relate to. But a game-changing moment of letting someone I trusted capture me on their camera while we were naked in bed together let me see a side of myself I never knew existed. In the comfort and safety of this friend, I saw a soft, erotic and sassy side of me shine.
Over the course of a few months, I started to sit in front of the mirror and watch my body move as I stripped out of clothes and embraced an inner sensuality that was eager to come out and play. From there, I started to take self-portraits, observing the full spectrum of my body, my beauty, and my ways of embodying sensuality. Soon enough I was making trips to artists’ studios being photographed by people who celebrated my appearance and encouraged me to shine on camera too.
This practice of self admiration and being a model not only made me start to love my body more, it helped to develop self-confidence in what my sexuality could look and feel like. I started to become attracted to myself and, in doing so, I appreciated the attraction others could have of me.
Your journey into erotic photography 🤝
This is something I now actively encourage others to do. Whether it’s my sensual “strip and tease” workshops guiding people into a state of confident liberated movement, connecting with the body and enjoying the art of undressing. Or through uncensored, sassy photoshoots, I lead people through a process of liberation in a safe and trusting environment, filled with encouragement and love.
I always tell people there is no right or wrong way to pose or look when it comes to “sexy” – it’s a feeling, a moment, and a unique experience that can manifest in all kinds of ways. To get into the headspace, I advise you to think about what makes you feel good – smells, sounds, environment, textures. Is it being naked in a bubble bath with soft candle light and glass of fizz?
Is it wearing a floaty see through dress in a flower-filled meadow with the sun warming your skin and strawberries tasting sweet on your lips? Is it the cold, dusty environment of an abandoned church, high heels elevating you from the ground and the moon casting light on your latex covered body. Whatever the setting, the mood, and the outfit (or lack thereof) your sexyness can be depicted and portrayed in whatever way feels right for you.
Having a positive voice in your head (be it you own or someone you trust) can help you get comfortable in the moment. Tell yourself your sexy, be reminded how desirable you look, let someone instruct you to bend over and show your assets to them because they LOVE seeing you from that angle. Remembering that you never have to look like anyone but yourself is a brilliant way to enhance the experience and avoid comparison. You have your own sassy magic, you don’t have to look like the models you see online or your favourite porn star. You are you – let yourself shine.
A top tip is to decipher what gets you in the mood and how to be creative with what you’ve got. Is it lingerie, is it fetish gear, is it pjs? Do you want to be indoors, on the kitchen sink, tied to a tree, drinking from a dog bowl, having a cup of tea? If you’re wanting to stay anonymous then why not use a polaroid or try different angles which cover your face (making sure not to show any distinct features such as tattoos or birthmarks) and mask your identity.
If you’re not feeling comfortable taking selfies then ask a trusted friend or reach out to me and let someone else capture your sass. Getting playful and sensual with erotic photography and sexy selfies can ignite a fire into the belly of your sassyside. It can be a life changing experience that moves with you into other areas of your day to day existence – from the bedroom to the boardroom, being confident in your skin is something everyone deserves to feel.
Explore all photographers on Sensuali today.
Read: Sensuali photography: a short introduction.
Bethany Burgoyne
Bethany Burgoyne aka BxSassy is a sex-positive creative professional based in London, especially known for her podcast, The Sassy Show. She aims to sexually empower through her endeavours that include writing, photography, performance, and intimacy coordinating.
