Sensuality is personal and unique to the individual, and embracing it can unlock a world of pleasure and excitement. But where do we even begin when it comes to exploring it in the first place? I am an embodied intimacy coach, and the most common concern I see my clients facing is not knowing how to begin exploring their sensual side, let alone embrace it. So, if this sounds like you, you are not alone.
Many of us have interests and desires when it comes to intimacy that we may keep private or feel unsure about sharing. But let’s be honest—how many of those things you enjoy or like exploring have ever been portrayed in mainstream TV or media? Chances are, the things that excite you have never been represented, leaving you to carry feelings of shame or embarrassment for years. This is completely normal. The reality is that many people have unique desires that don’t always fit into society’s narrow portrayal of intimacy, and it’s important to know that your desires are valid, no matter how different they may seem.
Chances are, the things that excite you have never been represented, leaving you to carry feelings of shame or embarrassment for years.
In this article, we’ll explore ways to explore what feels good to you while addressing common barriers like shame and self-doubt. By engaging in mindful practices like body scans and journaling and using platforms like Sensuali to find expert support, you can start your journey toward a deeper connection with your body and desires.
Understanding Shame and Sensual Exploration
Before diving into the exercises, it’s important to acknowledge that many of us carry some form of shame around sensuality, often due to societal expectations, cultural conditioning, or past experiences. Shame can manifest as feelings of guilt, embarrassment, or fear around expressing our desires or exploring our bodies. This is a natural reaction but can be worked through with patience, compassion, and reassurance.
Everyone’s journey is unique. Some people may find pleasure in gentle, intimate touch, while others may prefer something more adventurous or intense.
Exploring your sensuality doesn’t need to look like anything you’ve seen in mainstream media, and it certainly doesn’t need to fit a specific template. Everyone’s journey is unique. Some people may find pleasure in gentle, intimate touch, while others may prefer something more adventurous or intense. The key is to embrace your own preferences without judgment safely and consensually.
Homework: Sensual Self-Exploration
Let’s get started with some simple steps to help you feel more connected to your sensual self. These simple yet powerful exercises you can try alone to begin and then even bring them into partnered play so that you can explore your sensual identity together:
Body Scan Exercise
Practising a body scan is one way to start tuning into your body. This practice involves slowing down and paying attention to the sensations in each area of your body. This exercise requires some dedication and active scheduling to ensure you hold yourself accountable. If you are not used to tuning into your body, then this exercise may feel a little uncomfortable at first, and you may even notice your mind wandering or even avoid doing it altogether. Remember, this is about creating change, and growth is always uncomfortable in the beginning, but trust me, if you do this practice once or twice a week, you will notice a significant difference in your body.
Here’s how you can do it:
Step one: Find a quiet space: Set aside 10-15 minutes in a space where you won’t be disturbed. This can be sitting with your feet on the floor or lying down on the bed.
Step two: Focus on your breath: Take slow, deep breaths. As you inhale, imagine drawing awareness into your body, and as you exhale, release any tension you may be holding. Do this several times until you feel relaxed and your breathing is slow.
Step three: Scan your body: Start at your toes and slowly move up through each body part. Pay attention to how each area feels—are there any sensations, tightness, warmth, or areas that feel particularly sensitive or relaxed? Asking yourself what it feels like to feel into this area of your body.
Step four: Notice without judgment: Don’t try to change anything; simply notice how each part of your body feels. You may be surprised by what you discover.
Step five: Journal what came up: This optional stage can help get thoughts onto paper. Record and be present with what came up during the body scan, and make a plan to attend to those areas.
Journaling Prompts for Sensual Awareness
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you make sense of your experiences and desires. Journaling can be a practice you do in connection with the body scan exercise to help solidify what’s happening in your body and in your mind. We all need a way to release stored emotions, and once you start to feel into your body, it’s likely to all come flooding out. Writing it down regularly can be a way to connect with how you genuinely feel.
Try reflecting on the following prompts:
- When I think about sensuality, what comes to mind?
- What parts of my body do I feel most connected to? Why?
- Are there any sensations or experiences I am suppressing?
- What would it feel like to acknowledge them?
- How do I feel about touching my own body?
- What feelings come up when I think about self-pleasure?
- What will I do for myself to experience pleasure?
Expert Support for Deeper Exploration
While solo exploration is a powerful tool, working with an expert can offer insights into your sensual identity that you might not be able to uncover alone. Sensuali provides a safe, inclusive space to connect with professionals who can guide you on your journey, whether in person or online.
Book a session: If you’re feeling stuck or need help exploring deeper emotional or psychological aspects of sensuality, Sensuali’s expert coaches and therapists are available for one-on-one sessions. Whether you want to address shame, boost your confidence, or learn new techniques, a professional can help you move forward.
Personalised sessions: Sensuali offers personalised sessions tailored to your needs with professionals in various fields. Our experts can guide you through more complex emotional aspects of sensuality, working through limiting beliefs, desires, and fantasies.
Embrace Your Unique Journey
As you explore your sensual identity, remember there’s no right or wrong way to approach it. Each person’s path is different; what feels good to one person may not feel the same for another. The key is to embrace your own experiences and be patient with yourself as you learn more about what brings you pleasure and connection. This will change and evolve throughout your life, so be kind to yourself along the way; you are only human.
The key is to embrace your own experiences and be patient with yourself as you learn more about what brings you pleasure and connection
By committing to self-exploration, embracing vulnerability, and seeking out support when needed, you are giving yourself permission to experience sensuality in an authentic and fulfilling way. Whether you’re practising a body scan, journaling, or working with a Sensuali expert, each step you take is an important part of the journey to finding what truly feels good for you.
Remember, your sensual identity is yours to discover. So take your time, explore freely, and be kind to yourself along the way.
April Maria
April Maria is a qualified sex educator, sex and relationships coach and training psychosexual and relationships therapist. For the last four years, April has been working in the field of sex education, sex tech and pleasure, endometriosis awareness and helping others when it comes to sexual wellness, intimacy, dating and relationships.
