The Dark Side of the #MeToo Movement
In a post #MeToo world, the woke, non-woke divide runs deeper than ever. The movement was meant to reconcile past behaviors we as a society no longer condone with the egalitarian ideals of our present times. While it has no doubt ushered in a new era of awareness and empowerment for women, it has also alienated men and created animosity between the genders.
Intellectually, we understand that progress doesn’t happen overnight but that can be hard to internalize, especially given the digital age we find ourselves living in, where information is spread faster than ever before. The #MetToo movement was a powerful step forward in raising awareness around the extent to which sexual harassment negatively impacts the lives of women. And yet, it did little to quell misogynistic sentiment, as was exemplified by Donald Trump’s triumph over Hilary Clinton in the 2016 Presidential election.
If anything, the #MeToo movement prompted even more hatred against women. Some men likened it to a witch hunt, and while I understand the urge to eye roll at such a statement — verified sexual predators are hardly as sympathetic as the innocent women targeted by the Judeo-Christian patriarchy — it would be foolish to so readily dismiss such a widely held belief. Progressives love to barricade themselves in their elitist bubbles, cushioned from the harsh realities of the world, but to do so is to deny reality.
How will feminists ever garner widespread support if we continue turning a blind eye to the truth, opting instead to habitat in echo chambers of carbon copies of ourselves? Especially if we choose to disseminate and demoralize the very people whose evolution we so desperately crave to shift humanity into a more evolved and satisfying way of life. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time as a feminist, it’s that antagonizing doesn’t work.
Dismantling Hierarchies that Perpetuate Victimhood
The minute we try villainizing a group of people, that group is going to stop engaging. The more we fulfill the stereotype of the nagging holier-than-thou bitch of a feminist, the less influence we have to enact meaningful change within the general population. At the end of the day, yes, most men have been complicit in the systematic oppression of women and other marginalized groups, with varying degrees of awareness. But dismissing the entire male gender as useless isn’t going to make men want to join forces with women to help fight against such injustices.
A woman with wounded feminine energy is constantly in victim mode, thinking only of herself and manipulating men to get what she wants because she’s been conditioned to believe she must trick men to get ahead in life. Collectively, this looks like the sect of feminists who hate men and exert their energy whining about how unfair the world is, in hopes that all their complaining will bring about a newfound respect and status for them within society.
A woman with divine feminine energy, on the other hand, takes a 360-degree approach. She is fully aware of injustices at play but chooses to pursue the route of soft diplomacy because she knows it will yield more fruitful relationships and ultimately, change. Her ability to remove her ego from the equation and extend empathy to the opposite gender, rather than making them the enemy, solidifies her authority as a fair and trustworthy leader.
When we can sympathize with men, who are expected to constantly be on their grind in order to provide for themselves and their dependents under the capitalist patriarchal structure of modern society, we forge relationships built on love and compassion rather than blame and resentment. With this fertile soil as a base, we can then educate men on what they’ve been doing wrong and how they can do better, utilizing humor and patience along the way.
Understanding > Othering
Whether it’s men against women, progressives against conservatives, or socialists against capitalists, the key to healing and moving forward is finding common ground and recognizing the humanity within the opposing party. The fragmentation of media has made it all too easy to become siloed in one school of thought. We can effortlessly surround ourselves with people who think and behave exactly as we do. We can hide behind our fragile egos, bending over backward to avoid conflict at all costs. But to do so is to live a life of complacency and victimhood.
By othering and placing blame on “others,” we take away our own power. When I was first introduced to men’s rights activist, Andrew Tate, my first instinct was, “Ew! This dude is so fucked up. I have zero respect for any man who listens to this him.” I never wanted to watch another video of his again. But then I had an open and honest conversation with the male friend who had shown him to me. While he claimed not to totally align himself with Tate, he pointed out that a lot of what Tate was saying rang true to him.
In particular, the objectification of men as work horses who are socially isolated and forced to deal with mental health issues on their own was a narrative that struck a chord. While I definitely take issue with the hatred-fueled tone with which Tate delivers his message, I have to grant him recognition as someone who has tuned into and become a voice for the desperate male youth and who is therefore worth trying to dissect and understand.
It would be much easier to completely write him off and never have to subject myself to another one of his videos again. But just as I make a point of countering my preferred liberal news sources with more conservative ones so as to give myself a more well-rounded and realistic worldview, I believe it is of the utmost importance to be well-versed in the rhetoric of the so-called enemy. Best case, it provides insight into how to go about forming an alliance and reaching a compromise, worst case it gives you a basis upon which to launch an attack in an Art of War know-thy-enemy kind of way.
Ultimately though, it’s time to stop reducing concepts and people into these “good” and “evil” binaries. Everything is subjective and there will never be universal agreement on who and what is right or wrong. The path to salvation relies on our collective ability to see things in shades of grey and make decisions in a way that honors the humanity not just within ourselves, but within people whose opinions do not align with ours. Only then can civil discourse be had and reasonable solutions implemented.
Jules
Based in Brooklyn, Jules has dedicated her twenties towards harnessing her pussy power, exploring the muse, whore, and wild woman archetypes along the way. When not blogging, you can find her sweating the toxins out in a hot yoga class or sipping a matcha latte at a pretentious coffee shop, whilst she scribbles away in her journal.
