Tell me about your back story. How did this marriage come to be?
So I met this guy, Yanbo, on a sugar daddy website like two years ago. He was the first guy I ever had an arrangement with. He moved to the states from China just before we met. I always thought he was nice but I never felt physical chemistry with him. He’s not bad looking but there are just such language and cultural barriers that make it hard to really get close in that way. He wasn’t into weird sex stuff or anything though, so it was manageable to fuck him without being totally grossed out. I was getting a couple thousand from him a month, depending on how many times we met up. He took me on a couple of weekend trips, which in hindsight I realize I should have charged way more for.
We had a full-on arrangement for like six months before he decided he wanted to take a step back. I think he could tell I wasn’t into it and it started to bother him. But by this point, I was like one of the only friends he had in New York, so we remained friends. When that transition happened, we actually became closer than ever. I’ve been living at my parents’ house in Long Island so whenever I have a daddy date in the city, it’s a major pain to get back home at night. Yanbo started letting me crash whenever I wanted. At one point he was gonna let me move in but I decided that would be a little too much, even though he has a crazy huge apartment.
I’m honestly not even sure how he made his money — something to do with fintech I think. I didn’t realize what a jackpot I had hit until I started meeting up with other guys from the site who had way less means and were cheap as fuck. Over the last year, I’ve become a close confidant of Yanbo’s. He’s still very mysterious but he opens up to me about his love life and about how lonely he feels. Over the summer, he went back to sugar dating. It’s funny hearing stories but it also creeps me out how obsessed he is with blonde girl-next-door types — especially the really innocent ones.
Back in August, we were hanging out and I mentioned how broke I was. Then jokingly I was like, “You should just pay me for a green card marriage.” I didn’t actually expect him to be into the idea, but he was. He has been trying to get American citizenship since moving here and we had developed a bond. I was a way more promising wifey than any of the random bitches he was hooking up with at the time. A month later, we got married at City Hall. The whole thing is still a bit surreal, not gonna lie.
What is your view of marriage now versus when you were younger?
When I was younger, I totally romanticized marriage. I think most little girls do. I was obsessed with looking through my parents’ wedding album and I dreamt about having an elaborate wedding dress and a huge party. But then reality sank in. I’ve definitely felt love towards past boyfriends but honestly, I don’t know that I’ve ever been in love. Somehow my long-term boyfriends always end up being these really boring, stable guys who treat me well but who I get bored of within a year or two.
By the time I started sugaring, I had become pretty disillusioned by the whole marrying for love thing. More than half of the guys I meet on the site are in unhappy marriages and looking for an escape. My own parents have a pretty solid marriage but I also just feel like that kind of relationship is a thing of the past. There are so many options out there now, people my age don’t just settle down and have babies the way they used to. I’m not saying I don’t want to fall in love and have all those things one day. I’m just saying that I’m way more of a realist than I used to be. Marrying for practical reasons makes just as much sense, if not more, then marrying for love.
What was the wedding like? Did you make any of your little girl wedding dreams come true or was it just straight to business?
There was a part of me that got excited about my wedding day. I got this really cute cream dress. Nothing fancy, but nice. We had to take pictures as part of the documentation process for green card stuff, so I had fun with it. I did my makeup and hair and stuff. The ceremony itself was really quick. We did it at town hall with my best friend there as our witness. Even though I don’t have genuine feelings for Yanbo, I couldn’t help but feel a little excited by achieving this milestone. In a way, it felt like the pressure was being taken off me. There’s this pressure for women to marry and now I can just be like, “Been there, done that.”
Are you worried about getting caught?
I mean, it’s always in the back of my mind but it doesn’t keep me up at night. The American government is such a shitshow, I feel like they don’t even have the resources to track this sort of stuff. And we’re doing everything by the book and making sure to take pictures and stuff. I looked up the penalty one time and it scared the shit out of me. Something like five years in prison and a $250,000 fine, but when I looked up the prosecution rate, it made me realize that very few people end up getting majorly fucked. Plus it’s kind of a given that Yanbo would take care of the money side of things anyways if that were to happen.
The scarier part for me is my parents finding out. They are pretty conservative and have no idea that I’m sugaring. I think it would break their hearts to find out someone was basically paying me to marry them. They would also be hella worried about me getting caught. But the fact that Yanbo and I have had a sexual relationship and are good friends legitimizes everything, as far as I’m concerned. It’s not like I’m a mail-order bride or something.
What is he giving you in exchange?
I’m getting paid $100,000 over a two years. $4,000 a month. It’s kind of ridiculous to think that he’s paying me more than any other daddy I’ve ever had and I don’t even have to fuck him.
What’s it been like so far?
It’s been pretty smooth sailing. We’ve continued on like normal. I stay at his place in his guest room a few nights a week when I’m in the city. We are very open about our lives… who we’re hooking up with and stuff. He’s still pretty opaque about money and stuff. He set up a joint account for us and gave me a debit card to use. It’s been nice having that cushion. I’m trying to stop sugaring for good and go live in Costa Rica for the winter, and thanks to Yanbo, I think all of that is going to work out.
Do you trust him?
I do, to a degree. There are a lot of questions I still have about how he acquired all his wealth. But I’ve accepted that the money stuff is always going to be a bit of a secret. There have definitely been some red flags along the way. He was seeing this girl who he wanted to be monogamous to him and she was saying, “Ya I promise I’m not fucking anyone else.” But then he went through her texts and found out she was lying and got really fucking pissed. To me, that’s a huge violation of privacy. I don’t think he has or would ever do that to me, but he’s certainly capable of doing it, which is a bit unnerving.
A week or so ago, I also found two credit cards with my name on them. I totally spiraled thinking he was committing identity theft and racking up debt on the cards or something. I’m guessing they were issued when the joint account was made and he just prefers I have a debit card, not a credit card which is fine I guess. There are definitely some days that I’m like, “Wait was this whole thing too good to be true? Should I annul before it’s too late?” But right now, I’m feeling pretty okay about the situation but I definitely need to check my credit score asap.
Do you feel like this could negatively impact future relationships?
No more than my sugaring background. If he’s the right guy, he won’t judge me for my past. A green card marriage is not the most uncommon thing in the world. It’s a business arrangement. If a guy can’t wrap his head around that, then he’s an idiot and I can do better.
Closing thoughts?
For thousands of years, people got married more for practical reasons than for love. If me marrying this dude solidifies his citizenship and gives me financial security, I don’t see what the issue is. I have friends who have expressed concern and I’m just, “Chill out, it’s my life.” People need to fucking relax. Green card marriages happen all the time. It doesn’t make me a bad person, it makes me a businesswoman.
Jules
Based in Brooklyn, Jules has dedicated her twenties towards harnessing her pussy power, exploring the muse, whore, and wild woman archetypes along the way. When not blogging, you can find her sweating the toxins out in a hot yoga class or sipping a matcha latte at a pretentious coffee shop, whilst she scribbles away in her journal.
