Tell me about your relationship with this guy and how it’s evolved.
So maybe like 4 years ago I met this other guy, Peter, on a sugar daddy website. He was fun and we ended up semi-dating — as in we transitioned from a pay-per-meet thing to just hanging out and going on trips thing without him paying me for each time. The chemistry was good despite the 40-year age difference and he gave me enough money to cover my rent and expenses.
He loved showing me off to his friends. He had this weird thing about how awesome and big his cock was and he had two friends who he liked sharing his girls with. I was into the kink plus I was getting paid by these guys so I was down. One of these guys was named Jeremy.
After the pandemic happened, Peter and I both moved out of the city. He ended up never coming back but I did. Taking a break from sugaring had been really good for me and I was set on not going back to it. I was doing lots of small freelance gigs to get by and knew that Jeremy was a successful CEO who might have personal assistant-type stuff for me to do.
Things started out platonic between us, but there was always that underlying “I know this guy wants to fuck me” vibe which was honestly probably the main reason he hired me as his part-time assistant. He liked having me around and I liked getting paid in cash. He’s also just a really cool guy and we got along great.
Eventually, we started sleeping together. I was definitely attracted to his CEO daddy energy and liked the pillow talk. He has a fascinating mind and although I’m not crazy attracted to him, part of me knew fucking him was the key to getting him to open up more and take our weird little mentor-mentee relationship to the next level.
As part of our foreplay, he started talking about how he wanted to get me pregnant. I went along with it, knowing he had a low sperm count and was old af anyways. But one day, he told me he had frozen his sperm and joked about his son needing a sibling. “You should have my baby,” he told me. I brushed it off in the moment, but stayed up all night thinking about it. It doesn’t really come up in conversation unless it’s a joke, but we’ve talked about it enough for me to know it’s definitely on the table.
What are the pros and cons?
Pros are obvious. I’d be set for the rest of my life. This guy has money that I don’t really benefit from as his mistress. But as the mother of his child, he would be morally and legally obligated to provide. I’m in my late twenties at this point and definitely have started to feel my biological clock tick a bit. There’s no one else in the picture and part of me feels that this might be my ticket out of the starving artist life. Jeremy has pretty good genes too. Big brain and handsome, so we would have that going for us too.
Cons — I don’t want to be a homewrecker. Jeremy and his wife haven’t fucked in years and are basically just roommates at this point but they still live together with their son. I know the wife and get along with her great. She might have suspicions about Jeremy and I sleeping together but she doesn’t voice them. It’s one thing for your husband to be sleeping with someone but for that person to be having his baby?
That’s a whole other level. Even if he did stay living with them and I was the one in the single mom situation, a large chunk of the resources she had been counting on being allocated towards her and her child would be going to me. She may not be performing her wifely duties and whatnot, but she is sweet as hell and hurting her would be really hard to do.
Also, I’ve never been big on conventions but having some old dude’s baby would totally put me out of the running to date a large pool of men. Being a single mom is already a deal breaker for a lot of younger men but when you add in the weird daddy background story — I feel like so many men would see that as a huge red flag. But I guess if they aren’t open-minded enough to be down for a modern family, then they aren’t the right fit for me anyways.
Do you think your family would be accepting?
My family is pretty chill. They are not religious or anything and I think they would love knowing I had achieved some kind of financial stability. But it would definitely take some getting used to. I’ve mentioned Jeremy in passing as a guy I work for. I think they would be weirded out to hear that I had a sexual relationship with him and was having his baby.
The age difference would be off-putting but mostly, I feel like they would be sad that I thought I had to sleep with some old guy to secure my future. They’ve always been big supporters of my art and have always encouraged me to become financially independent doing something I love. But I think they would eventually get over it. As long as they knew I was down and happy with the situation, they would eventually get on board and be happy for me.
What about the world at large?
The world has been turned upside down as it is. People have done weirder things. Like I said, I’m not one for conventions. I like to rebel against society’s expectations of me. I feel like a lot of my friends wouldn’t be able to handle the social stigma of doing something like this, but I think I would be able to handle it pretty well.
But going against the status quo obviously comes with obstacles. I think the hardest part would be explaining the whole situation to the kid. Is it fucked up bringing a child into this world when you full-on know the family is broken? And when you know the dad only has 20-30 years to spend with he child? I honestly don’t know.
I think it would be really important for me to find a community of people who fully accepted my situation. They say it takes a village to raise a child. I think that’s what’s missing from modern American society. Even the perfect nuclear family with parents who never get divorced live a way more isolated and independent existence than people of past generations and across different cultures.
Having a social safety net is essential to raising a well-adjusted child without going totally insane as a parent. But of course this coming from a woman in her twenties who has never had a kid so what do I really know? Ask me again once I’ve popped out a couple of babies.
Closing thoughts?
The whole thing is rather insane but so is my life. I know a lot of people in my life would be skeptical of my choice to do this and I would probably lose a lot of friends because of it. Not because they would cut me out of their lives but because I wouldn’t want judgmental haters in mine. Also, just having a baby would be a major life change.
The good news is that there’s no rush. The sperm is frozen and viable for who knows how long — years at least. I’ve accepted that I’m probably not going to ever be a girl boss, but I would like to lean into my career a little more before deciding to totally uproot my life by having a child. Being a mother is something I’m dying to do but only when the time is right.
Just having this as a backup option gives me a huge sense of relief. Because now, even if I don’t meet Mr.Right and have the fairytale marriage, there’s a big-shot provider out there who loves me and who would be down to father my child. Maybe it’s just the fantasy I need to let go of that biological clock anxiety.
Jules
Based in Brooklyn, Jules has dedicated her twenties towards harnessing her pussy power, exploring the muse, whore, and wild woman archetypes along the way. When not blogging, you can find her sweating the toxins out in a hot yoga class or sipping a matcha latte at a pretentious coffee shop, whilst she scribbles away in her journal.