Interview with sex writer & activist, Mary Morgan

It’s no secret that censorship and social media in this day and age have hit new levels of crazy. It seems that in 2024, any whiff of sex positivity or even educational conversation about sexuality and the functions of the human body leads to a suspended account.

It all comes down to ‘body politics’ which is an umbrella term for how our society and culture treat our bodies. This term also connects theories on different issues relating to body autonomy such as sex, sexuality, pleasure, masturbation, nudity, and censorship as well as topics more typically related to violence, like assault, harassment, rape culture, rape myths, catcalling, and gender-based violence.

So how can we change this culture and fight the robots that are deciding what we can and can’t post on a daily basis? Cue acclaimed sex writer and activist, Mary Morgan.

From openly discussing personal trauma with her film and art project “Whatever Doesn’t Kill Me Better Run” to hosting her own salon “cult chaos”, Mary is on a mission to change the world into one that celebrates sex and sexuality, starting with one of the most influential aspects of current society: the internet.  

Could you introduce yourself and what you do?

I’m Mary Morgan, a writer, artist, academic and expert in body politics. I am a PhD candidate at Birkbeck, researching criminology and cultural studies, looking at the eradication of sexual assault from culture. My work, both written and visual, all stems from theory related to body politics and body autonomy. I cover issues including nudity, censorship, pleasure, sex, and masturbation, as well as harassment, assault, culture, and myths. 

What inspired you to start using social media to spread messages about sexual empowerment?

I was inspired to begin posting about sexual empowerment and body positivity because I can envision a much better world, one where we embrace ourselves, our bodies, our sexuality, and our pleasure. Anything that I can do to make the world a better, more beautiful place, I am joyful and honoured to be a part of. 

Our culture has historically deprived women of the sheer right to their exclusive body autonomy. For centuries, our society has taught us that a woman’s body is many things, except her own. Our society censors, hyper-sexualizes, objectifies, and shames women’s bodies because it does not see women’s bodies as belonging to themselves. Myths surrounding female nakedness work to keep women oppressed, and shattering these myths is imperative in achieving autonomy and agency.

Myths include that when a woman is naked, her body is for someone else; that people have entitlement over her body; that she’s begging for attention; that she is devaluing herself; that her body is for consumption; that her body is only for sex and is inherently only sexual; that her body is lewd, banned, indecent, risqué, shameful— the list goes on. All of this is internalized misogyny. 

This is also the case for sexual empowerment.

There’s this horrifying wave of online sexist culture currently that is reducing women back to the madonna-whore complex. It is a construct that categorizes a woman as either pure and good or promiscuous and bad.

This has a drastic spill effect. It constrains women’s sexuality. It produces shame and stigma. It literally exists to control women and their bodies. Another very damaging, very dangerous effect of this complex is that it plays into rape myths and rape culture as well. In rape cases, there is the concept of ideal victims. Ideal meaning that the victims achieve believability and credibility. 

An “ideal victim” is a pure, innocent, fair maiden who was attacked viciously by a crazed man. The good women, the pure women, are believed. But the bad women, the promiscuous ones, are instead met with shame, disbelief, and rape myths, including not believing the victim because she has a sexual past. 

Internalized misogyny manifests in various ways, one of which is through double standards around sexual well-being. The idea that women lose their value if they have more sexual experiences is sexist, a gross double standard, and basic slut shaming. Slut shaming is all about damaging a woman and her credibility because she exerts ownership over her body and her sexuality. How dare she!

This can also sometimes be seen in cultural discussions and beliefs around self-pleasure. Self-pleasure for women can sometimes still be a taboo. Self-pleasure is a natural and healthy part of sexual well-being, and dismantling these taboos is crucial for fostering a more inclusive understanding of sexual health.

Our bodies are incredible, beautiful things! So is our sexuality! Our pleasure! It is so devastating that people’s sexual power is being curbed by downright lame, boring, sexist ideologies being recycled in different masks online. Embrace yourself, your sexuality, your pleasure, your POWER. 

What are your thoughts on how social media has impacted our perception of our bodies?

Social media can completely shift and shape culture. Social media has massive implications on not only how we see ourselves, also our understanding of the world around us. Representation shapes reality, and can also shape ourselves. Let’s talk about the negatives and the positives. 

There have been many studies in the past few years showing the damning, damaging effects of social media. Increased body shame, increased depression, increased anxiety, increased body dysmorphia. Impossible beauty and body standards are harming our perceptions of our bodies – not to mention unregulated amounts of alterations, both through editing and cosmetic surgeries, or dangerous medication or diets or pills. 

When only one type of body is seen, and labeled ideal for women – thin, white, tiny waist, giant tits – then any other body is seen is “other,” and “not ideal.” How horrible to think this about our own bodies! Everybody is beautiful. 

Sociocultural theories of body image argue that representation and messaging in media, including social media, affect beauty and body standards. Meaning that social media has changed culture and standards around bodies. 

So now the positives.

In the corners of the internet that I exist in, body positivity, and body neutrality, reign. Positive representation cannot be understated. It is essential to promote diverse, realistic, and positive portrayals of bodies in the media, especially social media. 

I have friends who open their social media apps and immediately feel depressed. They’re being pushed content that purposely makes them feel shitty. That they’re not “enough” – thin enough, pretty enough, hot enough, whatever “enough.” Anytime I have pushed something online that is specifically targeting us to plaster us with insecurities, I click ‘not interested’ and shift that algorithm in another direction.

Why would I constantly want to feel horrible about myself? Just so someone else can make money off me and the insecurities that they have packaged and sold to me? They can fuck off with that nonsense. So my feed is absolutely delicious. 

Your work is very courageous, raw and personal. Has it been hard to be so openly vulnerable? 

Oh my god thank you so much! That really means so much to me. It’s not easy opening up the rawest, most vulnerable parts of myself for the world to peer into. Especially in discussing trauma and violence, it’s really, really hard. As someone who studies the eradication of sexual violence from our culture, I use my own experiences as case studies to discuss our society and culture.

I discuss my own experiences to shatter the silence around sexual assault, to show others they are not alone, and to push for a change in culture that would mean what happened to me, would not happen to someone else in the future. A rape-free world is possible. I will do whatever I can to make that a reality. 

Have you ever faced backlash online and if so how do you deal with it?

I’ve received threats of violence and sexual assault. It’s really horrific, the fact that people do not seem to realize that they are commenting — sometimes publicly — on a profile that belongs to a real human being. I always wonder, would they say that to someone’s face? Looking at another human being, instead of with compassion, would they stand there eye to eye and tell me they’re going to commit acts of violence? It’s sad.

You know what’s also incredibly alarming? I once had someone comment on a post they were going to r*pe me, and that comment took three times of me reporting it to get taken down. Meanwhile, my body is treated like it is a dangerous thing on the internet. It’s laughable really. How is a true threat of violence, not the real dangerous threat? It shows the priorities, culture, and values at play here. 

There was a post that went super viral about nipples through a white t-shirt, and how we need to relearn how we treat bodies. I wrote that the over-sexualization of the female nipple is a learned trait, and part of how we can change the response to women’s nipples and desexualize them is by seeing them more in non-sexual contexts. For if you only associate women’s nipples with sex, then they will be deemed to be only sexual. But in reality, it’s just a nipple, get over it.

The first wave of response was incredible, empowering, powerful, inspiring, beautiful. The second wave was absolute horse shit. It was a smaller wave, but oh was it filled with nails. They wanted my profile taken down, I had so many posts ripped down in 24 hours, my DMs filled up with boring, violent, rude people. 

At the end of the day, my profile is my little beautiful corner of the internet. It’s my online home. I wouldn’t let you burst into my house, take a shit on my floor, and then say oh yes please stay for dinner. My profile is the same. You are welcome to come in, but please treat it and me with kindness, as if you were in my home. Otherwise, you and your shit are getting thrown out. 

What do you think the biggest barrier for women to be sexually empowered is?

Culture. Shame. Stigma. Deprivation of body autonomy. Slut shaming. God, the list is horrendous. 

If you’re not sexual enough you’re a prude. If you’re too sexual you’re a slut. Women can’t fucking win. 

If you view your own body and sexuality through the perceived perception of others – such as fearing being shamed or labelled – then you cannot possibly be able to exert your own autonomy and choose freely to do as you please.

We have created a culture in which women are so afraid of being able to harness their sexual power because of fear of what society will say about them.

So rather than being able to do what you want, you make choices stemming from you perceive you will be perceived as.  One giant perception matrix. 

Education and positive representation can play a role in shifting culture for people to be empowered by their own sexuality and truly have body autonomy. We are not born thinking that someone is a slut for having a certain amount of sexual experience. That is a learned behaviour. The negative things we have learned, we can unlearn, and relearn better. 

Do you have any hope for change with Meta’s attack on bodies and censorship?

Realistically, no. But that doesn’t mean I will stop trying. Meta has a very specific, and regressive, philosophy when it comes to body autonomy and censorship. I don’t believe they will make a progressive change on bodies and censorship. I also do not believe Meta understands the power that they wield in terms of shaping and deciding culture, and society on a broader level.

These policies do not exist in a vacuum, and Meta needs to realize that these are not just silly little guidelines. They are rules that transcend the borders of the internet and leak into everyday life.

Our world is being shaped by gods on social media platforms determining what culture should be. And their policies on bodies and censorship are dangerous.

So while they maybe won’t change their policies – they should. And I won’t stop pushing for change for the better. 

What has been your proudest moment as a writer/activist/artist?

I really loved making my project Whatever Doesn’t Kill Me Better Run. 

(whateverdoesntkillme.com) It’s like a revenge thriller trapped in a trailer. What’s better than vengeful women?! I created a series of posters, papered them across London, and a short trailer film. It brought together theory, film photography, art, film, writing — so many things that I love, all coming together for this project. I’m taking the series on the road this year as well, so expect to see it in more cities soon. 

Here’s the little tagline:  I had to bury my past self. Why would I stay buried when I can bury him. Whatever doesn’t kill me better run. 

Another highlight has been starting a new series of salon events called Cult Chaos. It’s a salon, lit reading, art show, party — it’s chaos! Each time there’s a different theme. The first theme was BODIES, and people came and read and showed such beautiful work, it was honestly such an incredible, moving, powerful evening and I was so beyond elated.

The French salons in the 1600s were organized by women! They came together to share ideas about literature, philosophy, art, and politics and pretty much shaped the beginning of what would become the Enlightenment period. In a world dominated by men, women shaped culture and society through salons. I fucking love that. 

The salons in the 1920s in Paris are also incredibly inspiring. The salon legacy of Gertrude Stein is iconic. Art, literature, culture, and academia coming together. Oh to be in her home on a Saturday night in the 20s in Paris. 

I wanted to create a space for people to be able to come together, have some wine and food, show their work, discuss it, chat with other incredible beings, and have some fun. There are readings, artwork, performances, exercises, dancing, singing, laughing, chatting, and of course, chaos. 

I just hosted the second one last week, with the theme of MINDS. It’s been such a joy bringing people together, so many writers, artists, academics, and brilliant beings inside and out. I’m absolutely loving it. Another exciting moment is that I’ll be starting my PhD this fall at Birkbeck! I am so incredibly thrilled. I cannot wait to dive in. 

What is one piece of advice you would give to your younger self? 

You are going to be so many things in this lifetime alone. Be everything and anything you want to be. 

Discover more about Mary Morgan. 

Read: Meet Berlin-based erotic writer: Pimenta Cítrica.

Drew

Author

Drew, aka Wise and Manly is a sexuality coach helping people to love themselves. As a bisexual man, he makes content about owning and embracing your sexuality as well as accepting your authentic self.

Mary Morgan

Author

Mary morgan is an artist, writer and activist focusing on body politics. she discusses catcalling, sexual liberation, censorship of women’s bodies, body positivity, desexualizing the female form, rape culture, and rape, among other topics. Her practice spans across written work; using online platforms to have open and honest conversations; and creating visual bodies of work for public spaces.