‘During more than eight years of combined experience working as a professional escort and sexuality coach, I have listened to the stories and experiences of women and the challenges they face. Whilst broad and varied, there has been a common thread running through them: Women are not having the kind of sexual experiences they either want or deserve.’
Pleasure Map was founded by certified somatic sexologist, Sebastian Wright. Based in London, he provides escorting services and hands-on intimacy and sexuality coaching for women and couples. Pleasure Map was created to provide women with a safe space to deepen their relationship and connection with their sexuality.
Who are you?
I’m Sebastian Wright. I run Pleasure Map as an intimacy and sexuality coach and I also offer escorting as a separate service.
What was your journey from an escort to an intimacy and sexuality coach?
I have been working as an escort for 8 years now, and during that time, I wanted to expand my knowledge of sex and sexuality, partly out of my own interest and partly because I wanted to improve my offering as an escort. A lot of my female clients were opening up to me about their bad experiences with sex and I realised how many women were not having satisfying sexual experiences in their usual lives.
I started to collaborate with a sex therapist. She felt her work as a therapist could only go so far and she needed someone who worked with touch to help fill that gap in her services. That made me realise how hands-on intimacy and sexuality coaching can be so helpful. The rest is history! I’ve been offering intimacy and sexuality coaching for 4 years and I officially set up Pleasure Map 18 months ago.
Tell us the mission.
My mission is to support women in regaining agency over their bodies, their sexuality and their desires.
We live in a culture where the emphasis on female pleasure isn’t really a thing. Anytime we talk about sex in a positive light, it’s usually around the male experience and anytime we talk about sex in a negative light (particularly with shaming), the spotlight is usually on women.
Arguably a majority of women have had one or more experience that has made them feel like their pleasure doesn’t matter. So with intimacy and sexuality coaching, I try to help women return home to their pleasure and the power that they can get from being confident about their bodies and their pleasure.
Are there similarities and differences between your escorting and coaching services?
There is crossover between my escorting work and my intimacy and sexuality coaching work. For example, both involve physical intimacy, they are both one-to-one experiences where both the client and I give and receive touch.
The difference between my escorting and my coaching is that as an escort, I’m curating an experience – going on dates, fulfilling the role of travel companion, and offering intimacy, whereas the coaching is about developing skills and building confidence.
However both services are also underpinned by the same principles: choice consent and safety. My clients always retain the right to change their mind and I try to create the safest space possible. Finally, both services put my client’s desires front and centre.
Who is your typical client?
The general public would probably be quite surprised by the clients I get as an escort and a coach. When people ask me ‘what type of woman would hire an escort?’ I usually just say, ‘think of any woman in your life.’ because my clientele is full of ‘normal’ people, whatever normal means.
It’s also incredibly varied. I have seen women as young as 25 looking to expand their experiences, couples who want to try new things and women in their 40s, 50s, 60s that want to reconnect with their sexuality.
What is your favourite thing about your job?
- I like the fact that the two pathways that I offer are quite different. So on a typical afternoon, I could be in central London on a date having afternoon tea, followed by intimacy afterwards. Then in the evening, I could be coaching someone and working with them to develop skills. I really enjoy the contrast of those experiences.
- I also really like the fact that there’s a diverse range of people and experience. I’ve done a number of training courses, but actually hearing people’s first hand opinions and experiences is no doubt one of the richest pools of knowledge I’ve been exposed to.
- With the coaching, it’s so nice to help women get to a place where they have overcome a particular barrier. Each journey is different and we never know how it’s going to pan out- so it’s always special to see that happen first-hand.
Find out more about Pleasure Map.
Explore sexuality and intimacy coaches on Sensuali.
Read: On intimacy coaching for the LGBTQ community.
Iso
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
