As soon as I hear Allanna’s familiar and warm Northern accent on the other end of the phone, I know we’re about to have a lovely conversation. She’s in the car on the way to pick up her kids from school, an action which alone reveals the honest normality of a mistresses’ life outside of her job.
Allanna is an Aries. She’s a mother. She’s also a professional dominatrix in the world of BDSM. Allanna loves art and design, and isn’t shy of a bit of DIY. She’s a social butterfly who enjoys travelling and believes in enjoying life. Just from her voice alone, I can tell she’s one of those people everyone around her cherishes to have in their lives.
Hi Allanna, it’s nice to hear your voice! Where are you from?
I grew up in Oldham, until I was about 9, and then I won a scholarship to a private school, where I did a lot of singing and dancing as it was a drama school. Then I did a some travelling. After that I moved to North Wales and I was there until I was about 17/18.
Then I moved up North and did hairdressing, floristry, finally going into events- I did 20 odd years in that and I absolutely loved it.
So how did you get into being a mistress?
I actually fell into this industry. It started three years ago. I was with my boyfriend and he wanted some erotic photographs. And I came across this website of a photographer who was also looking for trainee mistresses. Then one thing led to another and I went for an interview which really opened my eyes.
I arrived all formal- suited and booted like for a proper interview, and it obviously wasn’t like that at all. It was kind of the opposite! I went into the chambers and there were a few people there- a sissy and a sub and it was a big shock. I’m nota shy person or anything but I’d never seen anything like this other than in books and tv…
And the rest is history!
Yep! I did a little bit of training but honestly most of my training I’ve actually got through my clients. Im quite particular about who I see and don’t see and what I do and won’t do.
What did you learn that you didn’t expect?
It’s a lot of hard work. It can be very mentally draining and there’s a lot of prep work you need to do. I need to make sure that I dress accordingly, and that everything is perfectly prepared for the session.
With new clients, I still get nervous now. it’s excitement, and anticipation, because you don’t know whether you will have a connection and I think it’s very important to have a connection with with a client. I find it really interesting to sort of get into a client’s mind, and get properly involved within the session.
Why do you think it’s important to have a genuine connection?
I’m laid back- I like to have fun. Some people are very serious in session and don’t want any fun, but others are more laid back and like to have a giggle. And so in the past when I haven’t had a connection, I’ve really felt it, and then I wonder what I did wrong, and then I’ve realised that actually it’s just that we don’t have a connection.
Whereas when you do have a connection, before you know it the session has flown by. It’s amazing how many people say to me ‘God, I love that you totally got into my head. You really understand what it’s all about and what I feel and what I want to achieve.’
I think that’s really important because they’re paying good money and you’ve got to naturally understand exactly what they want. So that’s why I don’t always pick every single client. It’s got to work both ways and you both have a connection. Many mistresses say you don’t really need a connection, but personally, I think if you want a long serving sub/sissy/slave, you do need to have that.
How would you describe your dream client?
Someone who would bend over backwards for me- do absolutely anything for me. And I do have some clients like that who will do absolutely anything for me in this world and in the vanilla world.
To me, that’s a dream because it doesn’t matter what you’re going through in life, you can pick up the phone and they’ll cheer you up and make sure you’re alright. And they will genuinely do anything for you. They see you as a mistress and a friend.
That’s amazing. It must be really nice to have someone who you know would truly do anything for you.
Thank you. It is nice- it’s hard to find, but when you do find it, it works both ways. When they’re having a bad day, they know they can talk to me as well.
What advice would you give to your younger self?
That’s a good question because I recently had two new girls in the same chambers as me and I’ve been training them, which I’ve really enjoyed as they’ve never done it before. It’s nice to teach what I’ve learnt, and in this world you can never get enough training. There’s always something new to learn.
I would say go with your gut feeling. Im a great believer of things like that. If there’s something you don’t want to do in the industry, don’t do it. Never feel forced into anything.
I’d also say it’s not something that you can just start and that’s it – it’s an ongoing process with good days and bad days like any job. I don’t think clients always realise that it is ultimately a job and you do have a life as well. Sometimes they want to suck the life out of you constantly text.
But I do have a life, and a family so you have to know when to turn the phone off, when to not pick up a call. It’s all about achieving a good balance.
Are you dominant in your relationships outside of your profession?
Im the opposite! I’m very easy going, I’m almost too laid back. People actually tend to walk all over me, which people at work find hard to believe, but when people get to know me in my domme life, they get to see a bit of the real me and they say they like that even more because it’s my real personality.
It must be a weird contrast- good weird!
It is good because it’s like having two lives, well it is having two lives. But like I said, you’ve got to know how to balance those lives. At the end of the day, I’m still ‘mum’.
How private are you about your job?
Some people know, some don’t- but the ones that do have the attitude of good on you, we’re proud of you, if that’s what you like to do, then so be it – sort of thing.
My close friends are probably in the industry. My best friend knows and she’s like ‘I wish that I could do it!’ I’m open but not too open. Because people don’t actually understand what it is, so they make a misjudgement.
Yep, I’m the same, half and half, open but not too open. Do you have any standout memories from being a mistress?
I’ve had lots of laugh, that’s for sure. I’ve had things where girls have come in to the locker room and said ‘Oh my god this client wants a piss wet nappy…’ so I’ve just stood in the middle of the changing room and just weed in it! Ha! So yeah, we have a real good laugh. My clients as well do like a good laugh. I bring that to it. Like it’s just role play really!
If you had a client who could fulfil one wish right now, what would you ask for?
To have my own venue that would be really successful. Not just open as a chamber but also as a photographic studio and a teaching school. If I get to a point in my life where I feel too old, I’d love to teach it and give my expertise and knowledge to people who are just starting out.
I’d also love incorporate events into it because I love to do events as you know! And I miss that. When I started out I tried to juggle both but it was too much.
I find the BDSM psychology very interesting. Is there anything in particular that you’ve found to excite a large majority of your subs?
I think each client is different. Some like taking, some don’t. Some like to be dominated, like in an empowerment of women sort of way, others don’t. For some it will be a proper role-play. So with new clients, I make notes to make sure I cover everything that they’ve requested.
If I’m going to do something I’ve got to do it right. I can never do anything half-heartedly. So if they want 20 things within the session, I’ll do my best to give them 20 things within the session. I think each client needs to be different.
Do you find your job fulfilling?
Yes. For example, on the sex therapy side, it’s more about your mind, often about something that’s probably happened years ago. Some people come to me and say they’ve always wanted to try it but never had the guts until now.
And I’ve done that with a few people, who two years down the line are still with me, and you see how much they’ve come on. And that’s amazing because it’s such a journey that you go on with them. I’m still new to this- I’ve only done it 3 years, but I’ve learnt a lot and I want to learn a lot more. I just with I was 10-15 years younger!
Well you never know, there’s plenty of 80 year old dommes out there! Is there anything think could be improved about the industry as a whole or the online platforms?
I think people misjudge what it is. It can be read so wrong, especially with domes. They think that we do escorting and stuff. And its like- no, read my website. So there’s clearly blurred lines to some people. But the serious people who do know enough about it get it and what it’s all about.
But as for the platforms, there’s a lot of different ones that I need to advertise on, and I hate having to fill out a new ad every time. It takes up so much time. I wish there were a platform where you could fill a profile and then it’s saved and you could upload it on each platform!
Hopefully in the future that will happen- right now I just struggle because I don’t have the time as I’m sure many other’s don’t. I could do with a PA!
Me too to be honest! Allanna, thanks for such a pleasant and insightful chat. I hope you enjoy Sensuali as much as I do!
Iso
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
