So tell me a little about your background and housing situation over the last year.
So I moved to New York last year. My friend from high school, Katie,, Katie, was finishing up a graduate program uptown and needed a roommate. Even though we are total opposites, we get along great. When the lease expired at the end of August, our plan was to find a sublet together in Brooklyn. We were hoping to find a third person so the rent would be lower.
But there were some unforeseen problems. Problem one is that Katie Katie has two cats, which wouldn’t be all that much of a problem if we were gonna be the ones on the lease but then problem two happened. Katie’s mom, who had been the guarantor on our lease last year said it was time for Katie to spread her wings and stop relying on mom and dad for help. My mom was also unwilling to attach her name to the lease as our guarantor.
Katie is way more of a real person than me. She works in a lab but is a recent graduate, so it’s not like she’s making bank. And I’m funding my lifestyle by waitressing and sugar babying so it’s not like either of us looks good enough on paper to get a lease without a guarantor.
So here we are: two girls and two cats. It’s nearing the end of August and we are scrambling to find a sublet situation. Turns out cats are a hard sell. If someone is a cat person, chances are they already have a cat and are not down for two more cats to come stink up their tiny ass apartment. At that point, I knew I had to explore other options.
Especially considering number problem three: the real estate market is fucking insane in New York right now. Rent prices are nearly twice as high as they were during the pandemic. It’s daunting committing to a year-long lease with these way inflated rent prices. Everyone is saying it’s only a matter of months before things level out, so it doesn’t really make sense to lock myself into a contract before that happens.
I didn’t want to leave Katie hanging but I also didn’t want to get fucked over. I’m also just way more broke than her in general, so the places she was looking at were slightly out of my budget anyways.
What’s the deal with your sugaring situation?
So Thomas is this guy I met on a sugar daddy site about a year ago. He works in tech and is very into crypto. 100% on the spectrum, which is cool cause I’m pretty sure I am too.
We get along really well but I was never into the sex. He’s not bad looking. He’s in his thirties and not fat or anything. It’s just that he’s kind of a wimp. You can tell he doesn’t have much experience with women. When we have sex, he always wants to cuddle afterward and I’m like, “Nah, I’m good.”
About six months in, we stopped having sex and switched to just being friends. I genuinely enjoy our conversations and value our relationship, so I’m glad we were able to make that transition. He tried getting me a job at his company but I was flakey when it came to responding to emails after the initial interview.
Luckily, he didn’t hold that against me and continued being a support in my life – emotionally and financially. We had never had a pay-per-meet arrangement. I stopped doing that a couple of years ago because I realized the output of something more organic and less transactional pays off more in the long run. When we were sleeping together in the beginning, he was sending me crypto here and there.
Now we’ve gotten to a point where I can hit him up when I’m hella broke and need help making rent or whatever, and he’ll send me money no questions asked. Obviously, the crypto market is shit right now, so he just sends me money on Venmo.
I’ve taken a break from sugaring the last few months. I think it’s really important to do that. I needed some normal, twenty-something-year-old dick, you know? It’s been a fun summer that’s for sure. I’ve taken a couple of trips, fucked some hot guys, and switched to working at a restaurant that has way less of a toxic culture than the one I was at before.
Despite all the good stuff that’s been happening, I have been really tight on cash. So when I was venting to Thomas about my situation and he offered to let me move into his doorman apartment building in the lower east side, it was hard to not give it some serious thought.
What ran through your mind when Thomas floated around the idea of you moving in with him?
I actually wrote out a pros and cons list lol. Let me find it so I can read it to you verbatim:
So the pros were:
- No rent
- Walking distance from work
- High compatibility as platonic friends
- Wealthy and just got promoted this past month
- Probably will cover most food and other living costs
And the cons were:
- Unequal levels of desire/romantic & sexual interest
- Future guilt
- Small penis
What did you end up deciding to do?
I decided to go for it. Mostly out of financial desperation but I also wrote down a list of possibilities as to how we can go about making this situation work to both our advantage:
- Exploring my dom side. Thomas is naturally very submissive. I get him off mostly by being my dom self anyways, versus feeling guilty and pity fucking him.
- Both of us learning and growing together,
- Potential huge stress relief. For me, it’s financial and convenience-wise. For him, it’s about that calming and nurturing effect I have on him, even when sex isn’t involved. He’s a loner, so I think just having someone around to pass the time with and who can help keep the apartment clean and shit will be doing him a real service.
How has been working out since you moved in?
So it’s only been a week but so far so good! Turns out our symbiotic relationship stays symbiotic even when we live together – for now at least. Our schedules are kinda reversed. He works a day job, although he only goes into the office once or twice a week. And I work night shifts at the restaurant. It’s nice because we’re each doing our own thing and living our own lives but we still get to share meals and Netflix and chill and stuff.
I think he really likes having me here. So far he hasn’t gotten to clingy but that’s my biggest fear. We’ve had sex a few times but his demands are very low, which is nice. I think that’s the key to living with a sugar daddy. You have to make sure the expectations – sexual and emotional labor-wise – are low.
I’ve had daddies who are super demanding and controlling and that dynamic was semi-okay and sometimes even hot when it was in the context of “we’re just meeting up for a couple of hours to have sex.” But the idea of living with someone like that is a total nightmare. Having to cater to his every whim and walk on eggshells –fuck that. A home – even a temporary one – should be a place you can unwind and relax.
Have you spent the night out with another man? If so, how did Thomas react? If not, do you foresee that being an issue?
So I have yet to do that but I am a little nervous. Thomas and I have always been pretty transparent about that kind of stuff. When we first met, he knew I was seeing other daddies. I wasn’t disclosing how many or dishing out details or anything. It’s definitely one thing to vaguely know someone you’re into is sleeping around when you’re not. It’s another to have it right in your face.
Honestly, sometimes I just crash with a girlfriend if we go out clubbing or whatever. So it’s not like every time I’m not sleeping in my bed, I’m out fucking some guy. But I’m definitely tryna do that soon lol. At this point, I don’t know if it’s better to stick with the white lie of, “I’m crashing with Jules” or just be straight up with him that I’m out fucking around. I guess time will tell.
He’s kinda just like this little boy whose feelings I don’t want to hurt. Mostly because I care about him but there’s the selfish part of me that knows I can get more out of him and this situation if I play things right. I know that might sound kind of fucked up but honestly, it’s rough out here. New York is not for the faint of heart. You gotta be tough, resourceful, and always looking out for yourself. There’s a hustler energy that I’ve definitely started embodying since moving here that I kinda love.
Closing thoughts?
I feel like on paper the idea of living with a sugar daddy and relying on him to survive sounds horrible and goes against my hyper-independence. But at the end of the day, it’s all contextual. Thomas felt like the right person to try something like this with. So far there haven’t been any issues. If shit gets weird, I can just bail. I’m way less anxious than I was going into it. I honestly think it’s gonna be really good for both of us. I will def keep you posted.
Jules
Based in Brooklyn, Jules has dedicated her twenties towards harnessing her pussy power, exploring the muse, whore, and wild woman archetypes along the way. When not blogging, you can find her sweating the toxins out in a hot yoga class or sipping a matcha latte at a pretentious coffee shop, whilst she scribbles away in her journal.
