Tell me about your preference for fake tits. Where does it come from? Do you just like big tits in general?
It’s weird in that I was totally into small boobs in my teens and then I totally flipped once I realized big boobs were out there and available to me in the world. It was very exciting.
I don’t fetishize fake breasts per se but I do love their perkiness. A pair of natural breasts is great but when a woman unhooks her bra and her breasts just fall to the floor, it’s a bit of a scary sight.
I like a woman that puts on red lipstick, lingerie, and heels. Somehow a pair of fake boobs is sort of part of the dress-up, if that makes sense? It’s sort of signaling, “Hey, I’m here. Look at me. Admire me. I’m not here to bring home to mom. I’m here to fuck.” And that is fucking hot.
If I find a woman hot, I don’t really care about whether her breasts are natural or not. But I’m certainly not the type of guy to be like, “Oh my god I wish these were natural.” Maybe I just spent too much time in strip clubs in my twenties.
Who would you describe as having the perfect female figure?
In terms of the ideal female body, I would say my version of that stems from the porn I watched in the 90s – skinny white chicks, big boobs, lingerie, and high heels. August Ames is probably my all-time favorite.
There’s a certain demographic like myself who is attracted to women who are super thin with big boobs and that just doesn’t really occur naturally all that often. For me, fat legs are a total dealbreaker. I’ll take small boobs over fat legs any day, but skinny legs and big boobs are the ultimate combo.
How well versed are you in deciphering fake tits (cheap vs expensive, silicone versus saline)? And how many women would you say you’ve slept with have fake tits versus not?
I wouldn’t be able to name a pair of fully clothed fake tits by procedure, but I could categorize which tier they are. I can definitely tell the difference between a cheap boob job and an expensive one. The cheap ones are much more invasive with the scarring. They just look like two airbags popped on and I find them a bit humorous.
Then there are the teardrop ones, where they go under the armpit and use saline implants. Those are just a fucking work of nature. I’d say that probably 20% of the women I’ve slept with have boob jobs. It used to be way less common than it is now. But now, at least in America, it’s become ubiquitous.
In your experience, do women with fake tits seem to be more confident as a result of getting fake tits, or are the fake tits typically more indicative of a body dysmorphic woman who will stop at nothing to perfect herself?
I’ve never met a woman who said, “Oh I feel so used and objectified.” On the contrary, I’ve had women say to me, “This has been a better investment than an MBA.” If anything, they’re basically just tattoos on steroids.
This one woman I knew got a boob in her twenties as part of the mourning process for when her father died. She ended up becoming a model. There was another woman whose husband was stationed in Iraq. When she found the mail from five other women he had been having affairs with, she went and got a boob job. I also knew a girl who had been sexually abused as a child prostitute in the Mormon church and she got a boob job to make herself look womanly rather than like a girl.
And then the last major love of my life had serious hangups, in that she was highly sexual but then her body looked like that of a 12-year-old girl. She completely blossomed when she got a boob job – to the point that she realized she could do way better than me and dumped me. That wasn’t great for me but her getting rid of me as a shitty boyfriend was a major self-esteem boost for her.
For you where’s the line? fake tits? Fake butts? Fake lips? What’s a turn-on versus a turn-off?
It gets a bit much when it all goes because then it starts to look plastic. But I’ve never been into big asses, so maybe that has something to do with it. I think there’s a point where you go from looking like a Parisian model to someone who has lost their character and is now generic looking.
Has plastic surgery gone too far? Is it really a way to empower women or an industry based on male desires and female insecurities?
I think it’s wrong to look at it on a societal level – painting this narrative of female empowerment or male misogyny or whatever. My experience is that each woman has a very specific reason for getting it and the woman’s empowerment narrative is just as degrading as the male chauvinist perspective that women have to have big tits.
Have you ever pressured a woman into going under the knife? (Indirectly or directly)?
So I told my last ex that I would marry her if she got a boob job because I just couldn’t get sexually aroused by her childish body. She was stunning otherwise. So she went out and got the most perfect boob job and then she broke up with me.
She had the best line of all time. When I saw them for the first time, I said, “Jesus Christ, you’d have to have the perfect genes to have landed a pair of tits like that on your figure.” And she responds with, “I did have the perfect genes. I had a suicidal father whose death gave me an insurance payout that allowed me to pay for them.”
Any funny or cringe stories about fake boobs?
When I was like 60 days sober, I hooked up with a girl in the program. We were both counting days at the time. So when we met up, I bought her a Dr.Pepper rather than going out to a bar. Then she came back to my apartment and I fucked her. She still had her boob job stitches in. It was a little gnarly but kind of hot.
Closing thoughts?
If you haven’t already, I highly recommend watching the David Lynch film about plastic surgery being the new sex.
Jules
Based in Brooklyn, Jules has dedicated her twenties towards harnessing her pussy power, exploring the muse, whore, and wild woman archetypes along the way. When not blogging, you can find her sweating the toxins out in a hot yoga class or sipping a matcha latte at a pretentious coffee shop, whilst she scribbles away in her journal.
