Tell me about your yoni massage journey. What prompted you to explore it in the first place?
I wanted to get more in touch with my own sexuality and thought that learning some skills would enable me to bring more to the table for other people. But then I realized that line of thinking was faulty because it was masking my own discomfort of receiving, But at the same time, it did expose me to many different people and different energies, which I realized were also looking for greater self-confidence and self-awareness.
I think there’s a hunger for that within our society. We feel disconnected so we seek to connect outside of ourselves. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with connecting with others, but it has to be a dualistic journey. It’s not only going out to connect with other people, it’s about coming back to reflect inwardly.
Tell me more about the different types of yoni massage schools and why you went with the one you did.
There are lots of different schools across many different cultures. There’s Buddhist yoni massage, there’s tantric yoni massage there’s Hindu yoni massage and then there are schools that borrow from different cultures and create their own style. I went to the Institute of OM. The OM stands for orgasmic meditation and it’s a practice that combines mindfulness, touching, and pleasure.
Walk me through a typical yoni massage.
So first you build a nest, which is a nice, comfortable place for the partner who is getting stroked, also known as the strokey. There’s the stroker, who is the one giving the massage and the strokey, who is the one receiving the massage.
The strokey then removes her pants and undies. The way they teach it, she’s supposed to leave her top on – the reason being that yoni massage can be given in a more clinical setting, where the two participants are not physically intimate. Of course, when it’s in the context of a sexual relationship, she is welcome to take her top off if she wants.
The strokey lies in a nest, which consists of a blanket, a towel under the buttocks, a pillow behind the head, and two side pillows to bolster either thigh. Then the strokey spreads her legs open and the stroker straddles her. By the way, the stroker is wearing rubbers so that there’s no pain or overt friction and there’s a very special lubricant he can use to optimize the experience. Then the stroker is supposed to ask for consent and announce anything he plans to do.
So for instance, he might say, “I’m going to put my hand on your thigh, is that okay?” or, “May I touch your clitoris?” Once the consent is granted, the stroker – with the utmost attention and as slow as possible – runs his finger down the left upper quadrant of the clitoris.
It’s all about being as sensitive and refined with touch as possible for 15 minutes. The stroker sets a timer just so he knows when the time is up. When the 15 minutes is up, the stroker switches to an upward stroke for 3 or 5 minutes…I can’t remember the exact timing. It’s cool cause it’s one of those for-life programs, where you can take a refresher course free of charge whenever you want.
The last 5 minutes involve a strict protocol where you use the towel to cradle the vagina with firm pressure. This is supposed to close the circle of energy. Then you wipe upwards to dry up any moisture. Once that’s done, you invite comments and say what you noticed during the experience, inside of you, inside the other person. Thoughts, emotions, anything that came up. Invitation for intimacy and disclosure. I like to describe the color and shape of the vagina.
Do you feel like the yoni massage has made you more appreciative of the pussy? I.e you notice and appreciate the subtle differences of each pussy in a way you didn’t before.
Oh, absolutely. But I mean, I’ve always loved the pussy. The pussy is one of the most beautiful of God’s creations. The shape, the size, the texture, the flavor – everything about it is incredible. It’s the giver of life and pleasure. I’ve always been fascinated by and had the deepest respect for the pussy. It’s probably what drew me to yoni massage in the first place.
Did taking a class boost your confidence in the bedroom?
To a degree, but I feel like I didn’t really get enough practice. There’s a Facebook group where OM students can connect. The stroker can reach out to someone they want to stroke and the potential storkey can say, “yes,” or “no.” But it’s a bit weird and disconnected because there’s no real life connection beforehand.
I’ve gone to play parties where they host a platonic meet-and-greet prior to the main event. This allows people to discover who they have chemistry with in a no-pressure sort of way before committing to any sort of sexual encounter. I wish the yoni massage community took this approach.
I also think that when I first received the yoni massage knowledge, I wasn’t fully ready to properly implement it. Now, I feel like if I if I were to find someone who is interested in it, it could really expand into something else. Especially because I’ve started getting more into mindfulness and tantric breathing. I feel like it could really boost my sex life to the next level.
I haven’t been to one yet, but I’ve heard of these yoni massage parties where there’s a circle of nests for the strokeys to lie down in and receive. I would love to manifest a fuck buddy whose down to explore stuff like that with me.
What has your feedback from lovers been?
It’s not like I’ve given yoni massages to loads of people or anything, but so far every woman I’ve given it to has thoroughly enjoyed the experience. That kind of intimacy definitely creates a bond and builds trust between partners. It’s a really nice feeling.
What advice would you give to someone trying to up their pussy worshipping skills?
I’m reading this book right now that is absolutely fantastic. It’s called The Art of Giving and Receiving and anybody looking to enhance their sex life should read it. It’s all about consent and how one of the problems in the heteronormative community is that there’s almost an unspoken belief that if you do something, the other person should do it back.
Or sometimes you will let someone do something thinking that you’re doing it for them. But then the doer feels like they’re doing it to give pleasure to the receiver. It’s a misunderstanding in terms of who’s giving and receiving and it can create resentment and misunderstanding.
Closing thoughts?
Eat more pussy. Give more yoni massages.
Jules
Based in Brooklyn, Jules has dedicated her twenties towards harnessing her pussy power, exploring the muse, whore, and wild woman archetypes along the way. When not blogging, you can find her sweating the toxins out in a hot yoga class or sipping a matcha latte at a pretentious coffee shop, whilst she scribbles away in her journal.
