In a world filled with mixed messages about sex, relationships, and bodies, reclaiming your sexual narrative can feel both empowering and liberating—though the journey to get there can be challenging. Fortunately, in recent years, there’s been a surge in sexual health and wellness books that are transforming how we think about intimacy, relationships, and even our kinkier sides.
These books challenge outdated narratives and, most importantly, empower individuals to take control of their sexual well-being. With a range of science-backed insights and practical mindfulness techniques, this wealth of resources is helping people confidently navigate their unique sexual journeys with curiosity and a deeper understanding of their own bodies.
Whether you’re looking to deepen your understanding of intimacy, build confidence, or challenge societal norms around pleasure, these six books are essential reads. They provide fresh perspectives on sexuality and emotional intimacy and practical advice for living authentically—both in relationships with others and with yourself.
𝟏. The Science of Sex by Kate Moyle
What it’s about:
In The Science of Sex, psychosexual therapist Kate Moyle offers a comprehensive, science-based exploration of sexual wellbeing, breaking down the complexities of sex into clear, accessible insights. Moyle dives deep into the biological, psychological, and emotional factors that shape our sexual experiences, aiming to demystify the many facets of human sexuality. From understanding arousal and desire to unpacking the psychological barriers to pleasure, this book serves as a practical guide to better understanding your sexual self. Think of this book as the sex ed you never received at school but definitely need as an adult.
Why you should read it:
Moyle uses her expertise as a psychosexual therapist to explore everything from sexual myths to how our brains are wired for intimacy. This book is perfect for anyone looking to ground their sexual understanding in real facts and research rather than outdated taboos or misinformation.
𝟐. Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us by Jesse Bering
What it’s about:
In Perv, Jesse Bering takes readers on a thought-provoking and often humorous exploration of what society labels as “sexual deviance.” He challenges the very idea of what we consider “normal” by examining the diversity of human sexual behaviour through the lens of science, psychology, and history. Bering shines a light on the fact that many so-called “deviant” desires are far more common than we think, normalising what has been stigmatised for centuries.
Why you should read it:
Bering offers a compassionate, humour-filled exploration of our sexual curiosities, reassuring us that we’re far more alike than we might think. If you’ve ever wondered whether your sexual preferences fall outside the “norm,” Perv will open your eyes to the rich diversity of human sexuality. It’s a freeing read that encourages you to embrace your authentic self without shame.
𝟑. Bliss Club by June Pla
What it’s about:
In Bliss Club, June Pla creates a warm, inclusive, and empowering guide for vulva owners eager to explore their pleasure. This book is designed to break through long-standing myths about female sexuality and pleasure, offering practical, straightforward advice on everything from anatomy to self-exploration techniques. Pla writes in an accessible, friendly tone that makes understanding your body feel empowering and joyful. In addition to this inviting approach, the book is packed with detailed illustrations that clearly explain how and where to touch your genitals, offering practical guidance every step of the way.
Why you should read it:
Pla covers everything from anatomy to understanding what truly turns you on. This book is written in an approachable tone that makes exploring your body feel like an empowering adventure rather than a daunting task.
It’s a celebration of vulva owners learning to prioritise their pleasure without guilt or shame. If you want to enhance your solo play or deepen your understanding of your body, this book will act as your personal cheerleader and very own how-to guide.
𝟒. Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
What it’s about:
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski is a groundbreaking exploration of the intricate connections between emotional wellbeing and sexual satisfaction. Come As You Are is a favourite among sex educators and therapists alike, praised for its insightful, science-based approach to understanding sexual desire and emotional wellbeing. Drawing on the latest research in neuroscience and psychology, Nagoski unpacks the science of arousal, shedding light on how factors like stress, self-image, and past experiences can shape sexual desire. Her central message? There’s no such thing as a “broken” libido—just different responses to context.
Why you should read it:
This book is full of “aha!” moments, explaining why your brain is the biggest sex organ and how external pressures like stress can affect your sex life. Nagoski’s research also breaks down how everyone has a different “sexual blueprint,” helping you embrace your own unique sexuality. Come As You Are will help you debunk the myths of what sex “should” be like, allowing you to embrace sex on your own terms. It’s especially useful if you’re navigating differences in desire or seeking to align more with your sexual authenticity.
𝟓. Better Sex Through Mindfulness by Lori Brotto
What it’s about:
In Better Sex Through Mindfulness, Lori Brotto brings the ancient practice of mindfulness into the realm of sexual intimacy, offering practical, research-backed techniques to stay fully present during sex. Drawing on her work as a clinical psychologist and sex researcher, Brotto provides tools to help individuals connect more deeply with their bodies, reduce distractions, and enhance their overall sexual experience.
Why you should read it:
Through guided exercises, Brotto teaches how mindfulness can reduce performance anxiety, increase sexual satisfaction, and help individuals focus on pleasure rather than stress. This is perfect for anyone who finds themselves distracted or anxious during intimate moments. If you’ve ever struggled to connect fully during sex or felt like your mind is elsewhere, this book will provide you with tools to slow down and savour the experience. It’s not just about better sex—it’s about better self-awareness.
𝟔. Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
What it’s about:
In Mating in Captivity, renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel explores the complex dynamics of desire within long-term relationships, tackling the challenge of maintaining eroticism while fostering intimacy. Perel examines the tension between the need for security and the desire for passion, questioning the idea that closeness should naturally lead to sustained sexual excitement. She offers insights into how couples can rekindle desire and keep erotic energy alive, even after years of partnership.
Why you should read it:
Perel’s approach is bold and nuanced. She offers insight into keeping the spark alive in committed relationships and explores how individuals navigate security and excitement in long-term relationships. This is a game-changing book for couples who feel like the passion has dimmed. It’s a guide to reigniting eroticism without losing emotional closeness, perfect for anyone looking to deepen their connection with a partner.
Reclaiming your sexual narrative starts with you 🫵
Each of these books offers something different, but they all have a common thread: reclaiming control over your sexual narrative and fostering a deeper understanding of your body and mind and even your turns on’s and interests. Whether you’re navigating solo play, exploring the science of sex, or rekindling desire in a relationship, these reads will provide you with the insights and tools to approach sex with curiosity, confidence, and joy.
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April Maria
April Maria is a qualified sex educator, sex and relationships coach and training psychosexual and relationships therapist. For the last four years, April has been working in the field of sex education, sex tech and pleasure, endometriosis awareness and helping others when it comes to sexual wellness, intimacy, dating and relationships.
