Sensuality, the enjoyment, expression, and pursuit of physical pleasure through our senses, plays a vital role in the human experience and encompasses a myriad of sensations, including touch, taste, smell, sight, and sound, and is intricately tied to emotions such as intimacy, desire, and connection.
To me, pleasure is as important as eating and drinking. I genuinely believe that we should all schedule self-care into our busy lives. Life is demanding and if we’re going to take time to work hard, then we should make the time to play hard too!
Touch is one of the most primal forms of communication, transcending verbal language and carrying an emotional weight that fosters intimacy and connection. It serves multiple purposes in human interaction, conveying empathy, compassion, and love.
For infants, touch is crucial for developing secure attachments, while adults use physical contact to express affection and support. This act can trigger the release of oxytocin, known as the “love hormone,” which promotes feelings of trust and belonging.
Thus, touch acts as a bridge that connects individuals, creating a sense of community.
Despite its significance, many disabled people encounter barriers that limit their access to touch. These barriers can be physical, emotional, or societal, leading to feelings of isolation and exclusion.
For instance, individuals with mobility impairments may struggle to initiate or reciprocate touch, while societal attitudes often perpetuate misconceptions about disabled individuals.
Many non-disabled people view them through a lens of pity, reinforcing barriers and depriving disabled individuals of the intimate connections that touch provides.
Personally, a lifetime of painful medical and surgical procedures, meant that I learned to associate touch with pain. In addition, the only physical contact many disabled people experience is from carers, in the form of management and maintenance of their day to day personal care.
I’ve spoken to several people within the disabled community, about how they feel ‘touch-starved’ and long to be touched in a sensual way.
The benefits of touch
The exclusion from the sensuality of touch can have profound emotional ramifications. Touch intrinsically connects with feelings of love and acceptance.
Many disabled individuals may feel invisible or unworthy of affection, leading to mental health challenges such as anxiety and depression.
The longing for connection through touch is a universal desire, and the inability to engage in this fundamental aspect of human interaction can be particularly painful.
Touch offers numerous physical health benefits. It can boost the immune system by stimulating oxytocin release, which lowers cortisol levels.
Physical contact also triggers the release of endorphins, providing pain relief for chronic conditions. Furthermore, engaging in touch enhances blood circulation, ensuring vital nutrients and oxygen reach cells effectively, contributing to overall health.
The mental health benefits of touch are equally significant. Physical contact is known to lower stress levels, leading to a more balanced mental state. It releases neurotransmitters associated with happiness, improving mood, and combating feelings of depression.
Regular interactions through touch can enhance cognitive function, stimulating the brain’s reward centres and improving performance in educational and work settings.
Emotionally, touch strengthens relationships and fosters emotional connections. Affectionate gestures create feelings of belonging and support, essential for healthy relationships.
Touch also enhances empathy and compassion, which are critical for building supportive communities. During times of distress, a gentle touch can convey support and understanding more effectively than words.
In intimate relationships, physical touch is crucial for enhancing sexual health. It fosters deeper emotional bonds and increases arousal by stimulating hormonal release that heightens desire.
Couples who engage in regular physical touch often report higher levels of sexual satisfaction, as emotional security and intimacy create a safe environment for exploration.
The harm of exclusion from touch
Despite these benefits, disabled individuals frequently face barriers that limit their access to touch, leading to discriminatory practices and a lack of understanding regarding their needs.
In my experience, most venues that hold retreats, exploring and celebrating sensuality, pleasure, sexual freedom, kink and intimacy, are inaccessible for disabled people with wheelchairs and other mobility aids. It seems that when planning and organising such events, the pleasure needs of disabled people are completely disregarded.
Exclusion from touch reinforces societal stigmas, perpetuating the idea that disabled individuals are “different” or “less worthy” of affection.
This stigma can create further isolation, as many non-disabled people may avoid engaging with disabled individuals because of misconceptions.
The exclusion of disabled individuals from touch can have severe consequences for their well-being. It can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, exacerbating mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.
The absence of touch diminishes their quality of life, as the emotional and psychological benefits of touch—such as connection, intimacy, and validation—are essential for overall well-being.
Touch is a fundamental human right that everyone deserves
Excluding disabled individuals from touch not only affects them but also deprives society of diverse perspectives and experiences. Embracing inclusivity allows for richer, more empathetic communities.
A society that values touch should strive to include everyone, promoting cultural competence and understanding while breaking down barriers.
To address these issues, society must redefine touch and intimacy to be more inclusive. This involves acknowledging the diverse ways in which people experience touch and fostering environments that celebrate these differences.
Education and awareness are crucial in dismantling misconceptions surrounding disability. By promoting a culture of understanding, non-disabled individuals can become more comfortable engaging in touch with disabled individuals, creating opportunities for meaningful connections.
The sensuality of touch is a vital aspect of human connection that remains an area of exclusion for many disabled individuals. The barriers they face—whether physical, emotional, or societal—highlight the urgent need for greater awareness and understanding.
By advocating for a more inclusive approach to touch, society can work towards ensuring that everyone, regardless of ability, has the opportunity to experience the profound intimacy that touch can provide.
Embracing diversity in touch enriches the lives of disabled individuals and deepens the connections that bind us all as human beings. Let us celebrate and advocate for the importance of touch in all its forms, recognising it as a fundamental human right.
Explore Sensuali providers offering services to disabled clients.
Maria Cyndi
Maria Cyndi became a sexual health campaigner and advocate for the sexual rights of disabled people, after watching a documentary about the female experience of sexual pleasure. In the programme, women from different ethnic backgrounds, social classes, relationship status, sexual orientation and age, were interviewed about their sexual experiences. However, nobody from the disabled community was invited to contribute. The omission of disabled women in this programme prompted her to take action to highlight the importance of including disabled people in the conversation about sex and pleasure.She has been in an interabled relationship for twenty-nine years and has raised two children to adulthood with her husband. Throughout the course of her life, she has had to surrender her body to medical and community care professionals numerous times. Following sexual abuse in childhood, she rebuilt her life from the ground up and believes that everyone has the right to enjoy sexual pleasure regardless of ability, gender, race, class, culture, orientation or age. Reclaiming her body in adulthood and learning how to embrace her own pleasure, has been the most powerful and liberating experience of her life. This dynamic transformation has inspired her to do whatever she can to support disabled people in their pursuit of pleasure and sexual freedom.
