When you’re an #altgirl, trying to dance sexily to ‘Moves Like Jagger’ can prove very testing.
Especially if it’s for the thirtieth time.
Absurdly enough, this is a song that a stripper friend of mine was genuinely forced to dance to at her club. To me, it’s quite possibly the most un-arousing song on this Earth.
Whilst some clubs let dancers choose their own tunes, not all do. Stripper life has its highs and lows, but the truth is that just like any form of dancing, stripping is a means of expression and dancers deserve full autonomy in their performances.
Plus, anyone with two brain cells can see that the sexiest results are going to come when someone is genuinely feeling the song that they’re dancing to, despite what any club manager or DJ may otherwise protest.
So, without further ado, for those of you who say no to the weekly top 40, here’s a strip-worthy playlist especially suited to the more alternative dancers. Hopefully they’ll let you play them.
The Sad Girl Stripper
You probably relate to Cassie from Skins, or Cassie from Euphoria, well, all the Cassies. The club wants you dancing to upbeat anthems, but you just want to float around the pole like FKA Twigs in the Cellophane video.
You’ve got the ethereal vibe down to a T, and you’re probably the perfect manic pixie dream girl to many guys. You wear pastel lingerie and crave slower songs that emphasise your natural grace and emotion that you put into each performance.
Hair & Skin – Mazzy Star
Listen on Spotify.
Mermaid Motel – Lizzy Grant
Listen on Youtube.
Under Your Spell – Desire
Listen on Spotify.
The Electro Stripper
You’re very cool. Everybody knows you’re very cool. You’re like Lisbeth Salander or something and with the way you’re dressed it’s like you were born in Berghain. Moves Like Jagger is Absolutely Not your jam.
Instead you prefer intense electronic beats that make you feel quietly powerful. You love a song that slowly builds, meaning you can exhibit initial elegance and precision in your routine before completely letting go. You’re probably a Scorpio.
Dirge – Death In Vegas
Listen on Spotify.
Thunder – Catnapp
Listen on Spotify.
Frost – Salem
Listen on Spotify.
The Hippie Stripper
You love all things natural. A true hippie, you’re drawn to dancing because it’s a beautiful form of sexual expression. To you, this profession is anything but seedy.
You need songs that allow you to move your hips. Your ideal tune feels erotic, sensual and a tad trippy.
Underwater Love – Smoke City
Listen on Spotify.
Sweet Sun – Milky Chance
Listen on Spotify.
Saptak (The Samaya Mix)
Listen on Spotify.
The Rapstar Stripper
You need music that gives off overt confidence and pure sex. I’m talking ‘pussy power’ music. As long as it’s got a beat, you’re down. You’re here to primarily be showered in dosh, but that’s not to say you don’t enjoy your time on stage.
You love to play the brat and the crowd loves it too. Nicki is your God. Pink is your colour. You’re more than partial to a bit of grime.
Thickums – Drikka
Listen on Spotify.
Honda – FKA Twigs ft. Pa Salieu
Listen on Spotify.
G’D Up – Maliibu Miitch
Listen on Spotify.
The Grunge Stripper
You’re a wild one. You’re very used to being laughed at at family events for your purposely derailed appearance, and it’s no different at the club. You’re more than used to holding your annoyance behind a strained smile when clients point out your smudged eyeliner.
Fast or slow music? You don’t mind, just as long as it’s got some edge and you can lose yourself under the lights.
Baby In Blue Jeans – L.A. Witch
Listen on Spotify.
Grit – Phoebe Green
Listen on Spotify.
S.O.F.T – Elastica
Listen on Spotify.
The R&B Underdog Stripper
A perfectionist and a great dancer, you’ve got your head in the game. You love to dance, that’s why you’re here. Your performances are consistently knockout, not to mention your look.
You need songs that feel darkly sensual and soulful, that allow you to show off your abilities best. You’re intense, and everybody in the room can feel it.
No One Believes Me – Kid Cudi
Listen on Youtube.
I Put A Spell On You – Alice Smith
Listen on Spotify.
Me and Your Mama – Childish Gambino
Listen on Spotify
The Femme Fatale Stripper
You’ve been here before. You know how to swindle the DJ, you know how to get your dollar and you sure know how to move. You love to leave them wanting more.
Your ideal songs are slow but raunchy, so you do a verrrry slow strip tease whilst maintaining that steady, knowing smile that simply oozes confidence.
Evil Woman – Canned Heat
Listen on Spotify.
Vicious – Spalding Rockwell
Listen on Spotify.
When a Woman is Around – Unloved
Listen on Spotify.
Iso
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
