Meet Wiseandmanly, otherwise known as Drew. If you’ve ever seen him online, you’ll know that he is a vers bisexual male content creator who makes insightful videos about his sexuality, which are all the more watchable for his endearing and whimsical charm. He recently paid a visit to the Sensuali office to share with us his thoughts, stores and advice about being a bisexual male content creator.
- Who are you?
- How did you get into being a content creator?
- Are you open with your loved ones about being a content creator?
- What was your journey to sexual liberation as a bisexual male?
- What's the best thing about being a content creator?
- What messages about bisexuality do you want to spread?
- What are common myths about bisexual males?
- How do you cope with internalised shame?
- Why are you working with Sensuali?
- Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Who are you?
I’m Drew, I’m 28 and I’m from Essex, but I live in London.
How did you get into being a content creator?
I was already posting spicy content online a lot, and sending nudes (for free!) so I started to wonder why I wasn’t using this as a money-making opportunity. It was 2020 (covid era) as well; there were little other job opportunities, so I started my OnlyFans.
I went down the findom route at first and was posting a lot of pictures of my feet, but it didn’t feel like me because I was trying be a sort of straight alpha-esque character. Eventually I started to embrace my real identity as a bisexual male content creator and as my platform grew, I also grew.
I really enjoyed it. My profile was unique as I was one of the few men embracing my sensuality- I did lingerie shoots and experimented in places where others didn’t.
Are you open with your loved ones about being a content creator?
Yes, but the one person I originally didn’t want to find out was my dad. I was living at home when I was doing it, and one day he found out. I was literally laying in bed with a face mask on and cucumbers on my eyes, and my dad opened the door and said ‘I know what you’re doing and I want you to stop. It’s called prostitution.’
And I told him that he can’t tell me how to feel empowered in my identity as a bisexual male– as it isn’t something he can relate to. And then he was kind of saying things like: ‘I’m going to tell your mum. I’ve seen the pictures and I’m going to look for more’ and I was like ‘Okay dad, that’s pretty weird to be searching for pictures of your son’s dick on the internet.’
It was such a moment because I think he realised I’m an adult and he can’t tell me what to do and I had to accept the fact that he found out and isn’t happy about me being a content creator.
It did make me go a little bit quiet on the platform for a while, because I didn’t really feel like doing it after knowing that he knew. But that allowed me to realise that in order to be a successful content creator you do have to treat it like a business, and post even when you don’t feel like posting. I have managed to keep a steady income from being a content creator, so I’m proud of myself!
What was your journey to sexual liberation as a bisexual male?
In uni I had a girlfriend, and I was kind of in the closet, and then towards the end of uni I started to explore my sexuality a little. Then in 2018 I went on this TV show called ‘Porn Laid Bare’.
On the show I came out as bisexual and when the show aired I had a lot of people reach out to me and say that I had made them feel seen, and that made me want to share my identity as a bisexual male even more to make people feel less alone.
Then before I became a content creator, if I wanted to be a top I would sleep with a woman and if I wanted to be a bottom I would sleep with a man. But once I started having an online platform, I saw that there were some dominant girls and some submissive guys who were interested in me.
Being a content creator and interacting with all these diverse people online made me realise how sexuality is so fluid and that there are so many different dynamics to explore. So that’s when I properly started to feel like a vers bisexual.
@wiseandmanly LISTEN UP #bimen – i gotta tell u a secret…💜 #bisexual #bi #pan
What’s the best thing about being a content creator?
There’s a really nice community of people who are open with their sexuality so it’s so special to be a part of that. What keeps me going are the messages that I receive. I’ve cried at some DM’s I’ve gotten from people in their 40s and 50s who have been closeted bisexual their entire lives. It shows me that what I’m doing makes a difference.
I won’t deny that there’s difficulties also. I struggle with the stigma and judgement from other people, and getting weird responses when I say that I’m a content creator, so it’s not without its challenges.
What messages about bisexuality do you want to spread?
The main messages are: the only acceptance you need is from yourself and that your sexuality is your greatest power. Because when I was growing up I thought my sexuality was a weakness. But owning what you are is always going to be the most powerful move, no matter what sexuality you are.
What are common myths about bisexual males?
Of course the idea that we’re all just secretly gay. That’s obviously not true. Bisexual men do exist!
Plus the idea that women don’t like bisexual men. They do! For so long I tried to seem straight to girls that I dated before because I thought they would think I was ‘too gay’ but now I’ve seen that there are plenty of women who are super into bisexual men.
Also- the boxes that society separates bisexual men into: the bisexual male that plays it straight or the bisexual male who pretends to be more gay than he is. Why do we have to put restraints on our identity like this?
I think that right now in our society, people are very intent on defining themselves as something and expecting everyone to accept them immediately- they think other people owe them something. But we only owe things to ourselves.
We need to just accept ourselves. I hope that in the future, we don’t have to have labels or define our sexuality necessarily. It would be nice to live in a society that is just open and fluid and nobody is angry about it.
@wiseandmanly Replying to @Cryinginacoolway_2931 you are welcome x look for these signs…. #bi #gay #bimen
How do you cope with internalised shame?
I sometimes feel and have felt shame for my sexual fantasies. I think that not exploring those fantasies has put me in cycles of shame, so the way I’ve overcome the shame is through actually exploring them. And then through exploring you are able to understand why you like those things, and let go of the internalised shame and self-judgement you’ve carried your life for having those desires.
I also think it’s important to recognise when your desires come from a healthy place or a destructive place. For example, one of my kinks is to be spanked by an older man, which is fine and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
But sometimes, when my mood is low or I feel bad about myself, I sometimes crave to be spanked and I see that in those instances my desire for that comes from an unhealthy place. So in those circumstances I’ve learnt to stop myself. But yeah, it’s about understanding and accepting your kinks.
Sexual shame is so common in our society because we’re so afraid to talk about what we like. The more we all open up, the less shame there will be, so I think collectively we should try our best to talk about our sexuality.
Why are you working with Sensuali?
Sensuali is very progressive, and it’s actually very needed right now. Escorts shouldn’t have to hide in the shadows anymore, we’re past that. We need to have a platform like this where everyone can be open about their sexuality and what they do, without the worry of censorship.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Somewhere in South America…on a beach…in a house that I might even own, chilling out, taking some spicy photos, and later on having some sort of moonlight sex ritual orgy?! Yeah, that’s the dream.
Check out more videos from Wiseandmanly.
Iso
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
