We all have a sexual fantasy that we want to experience but we don’t always question why we have said fantasy. It’s easy to separate our sex lives from our personal lives, but in reality, our fantasies do actually say something about us.
Instead of going down the ‘my sexual desires are totally disconnected from my public life and so I don’t need to address or understand them’ route, it’s time to acknowledge our sexual fantasies, even the weird ones, and let go of any shame we feel in relation to them.
Let’s explore the connection between some of today’s most obscure sexual fantasies and what they reveal about your personality.
Katoptronophilia (mirror sex)
If you don’t know, katoptronophilia is the fantasy for mirrors and checking your (and your partner’s) reflection out in the mirror whilst having sex. If this is something you enjoy, it probably means you’re pretty confident in your body. It falls under the wider category of exhibitionism. You enjoy showing yourself off (even to yourself).
However, people who check themselves out in the mirror a lot (in normal circumstances) also can reflect somebody who might overthink or feel paranoid about their appearance, or someone who easily loses their sense of self and looks in the mirror a lot to regain a grip on reality.
So, sometimes people who get off from mirror sex do so because without a mirror, they feel paranoid about how they look and it obstructs their pleasure, or they easily dissociate during sex, and a mirror forces them to be present.
Quirophilia (hand fetish)
This is a fantasy for hands. It can be for specific parts such as the palms or the fingers. It might seem like an obscure fantasy at first, but if you enjoy having somebody’s fingers in your mouth, or you really like when your partner has their nails done, or you enjoy being pleasured with fingers more than other ways, then this is relevant.
The hands are both a sensual and yet powerful part of the body. The hands can symbolise dominance and the kink for hands can suggest that you enjoy direct touch that holds a lot of intention. However hands can also symbolise elegance and the idea of a ‘carress’ highlights how sexual the hands can be.
If you particularly enjoy the use of hands in sex, you are maybe a good mix of ‘head and heart’ you like direct, thoughtful and intentional actions, but you also have an appreciation for elegance, sensations, things that cannot be intellectualised.
For a very hands on encounter check out the sensualist experiences offering hand-relief on Sensuali.
Degradation Fantasy
This one falls into the category of power based fetishes normally associated with BDSM. This sexual fantasy involves degrading somebody or being degraded by somebody, verbally or physically.
It can involve spitting on somebody, begging for something, being forced into wearing or doing something humiliating, ignoring somebody, being treated like an animal, being a human ashtray…you get the picture.
If you enjoy these things in the bedroom, it might be because you need some form of outlet from your everyday life. You might be super submissive in everyday life and enjoy the bedroom being a space where you can take more control. Or your behaviour in the bedroom might reflect your behaviour in everyday life.
Maybe you’re under a lot of pressure which leads to built up stress and frustration, maybe you’re not entirely comfortable in your skin and feel you can’t let go or be yourself. It normally suggests there is some form of discomfort in your everyday life, which isn’t abnormal- we can’t always feel comfortable, and power play in the bedroom is a great outlet for our emotions, and a way to better understand ourselves.
Check out DiablaDoom on Sensuali, a professional kink and fetish facilitator to discover your submissive side.
Olfactophilia (smell fetish)
Olfactophilia is the sexual fantasy for bodily smells. This one is in some ways pretty scientific as our bodily odours sometimes release chemicals called pheremones, which are able to affect the behaviour of those who around us who take in the odour.
If you’ve ever inexplicably found yourself immediately aroused by somebody’s natural body odour, this might be the magic of pheromones.
There is also a very special connection between scent and memory. Most of us have experienced that thing where you find yourself thrown back into an insanely specific memory just from smell, in a way that no other sense seems to be able to achieve. And so if you are into olfactophilia, you might find yourself drawn to the same person again and again for the memory of their smell might have a stronger hold on you than most.
As a person, you’re likely sensitive and very attuned to things around you. You might be very particular and either super drawn to people or super put off by others as their smell plays such a large factor in your attraction. You might also enjoy other forms of sensory arousal like temperature play, tie & tease and breath play.
@sensuali_official Let’s explore the connection between some of today’s most obscure fantasies and what having that fantasy might reveal about you. #Sensuali #sensual #Fantasy #explore
So yes, although it’s normal to separate your sex life from your everyday life and enjoy sex as an outlet for exploration, there’s a difference between that and totally blocking out any deeper understanding about your sexual fantasy.
Once you understand why you like what you like and are able to talk to other people about it, any unwanted shame still hanging around will likely decrease big time. We have to learn to accept ourselves, and understand that we are products of the world we were brought up in, there’s no definitive right or wrong to our desires.
If you’re struggling to understand your desires, we made Sensuali specifically to help people find experiences perfectly suited to their sexual fantasy. It’s all about exploring, learning, and even just talking about what you like in a safe space with safe people.
Iso
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
