In 2023, we are simply too grown to be cheating on our partners. Gone are the days of sneaky affairs and deception. In the modern world we’ve got phrases like polyamory, consensual non-monogamy, ‘situationships’ and last but not least, hotwife.
What is a hotwife?
Well, it’s not just a wife that is a hottie.
Hotwifing is like the badass, truth-telling alternative to cheating.
A hotwife is a term used to describe a married or committed woman who enjoys having sexual relationships with other men while her husband or partner knows about it and is okay with it.
It’s like a consensual arrangement where the husband gets turned on by his wife’s sexual adventures with other guys. Sometimes the husband may even join in on the action or just watch.
Basically, it’s all about the wife exploring her sexual desires and having fun with other men, while the husband gets a thrill out of it.
It’s important to remember that it’s all consensual and based on trust and open communication between the couple.
Hotwifing Ain’t Nothing New
Let’s not forget the roots of hotwifing. Cuckolding, a term that’s been around for centuries, involved a man being aware of his wife’s extramarital affairs and deriving pleasure from it.
Over time, hotwife branched off from cuckolding and became its own thing, focusing on more consensual exploration and in recent years, it has really kicked off.
But what’s the point?
Cheating has always been common, no matter what the oldies try and make you believe. But lying isn’t healthy. When you lie to others, you are lying to yourself. Lying suggests that you are not proud or comfortable in yourself and in your own life choices.
Hotwifing is the truthful, open path. If your partner is secure enough in your love and comfortable with the concept, it’s all engines go. But what exactly is the purpose of hotwifing?
It’s all about spicing things up in the bedroom (or wherever you like to get busy). It’s like a way for couples to add some extra excitement and adventure to their sex lives. The husband gets off on seeing his wife get it on with other guys, and the wife gets to explore her wild side and have fun with different partners.
But it’s not just physical pleasure we’re talking about here. Hotwifing can also be about building trust and deepening emotional connections.
It takes a rock-solid relationship to be open and honest about desires and boundaries. Some couples find that sharing these experiences actually brings them closer together and makes their bond even stronger.
So how does hotwife work?
The dynamics of hotwife can differ. The most typical dynamic in hotwifing is where as a hotwife, you enjoy taking control, seducing other men and your partner might be into the submissiveness he feels from witnessing other men desiring you and getting to fuck you.
But an alternative form of hotwifing is when the hotwife is more subby. You might be into the idea of being ‘shared’ and your partner might take the more dominant position of orchestrating the situation. Let’s explore some examples of these hotwifing dynamics… try not to blush.
The Seductress & The Emasculated
Julie and Mark have been happily married for a long time. Julie is naturally flirtatious and loves seducing men, Mark’s friends have always teased him about Julie’s foxy way of being. This energy of hers is partly what Mark finds so attractive about her.
After a proper conversation, they both agreed that they would find the idea of Julie being a hotwife very exciting. Now, on weekends, Julie and Mark go to swingers clubs. They play around together for a while, but when other men start to approach Julie, Mark doesn’t intervene.
He watches Julie’s eyes light up as other men whisper into her ear. He watches as she revels in attention and works her magic to get the men completely entranced. He watches as the men become excited and start to play with her and as she responds with enthusiasm. He watches one man, sometimes two men, sometimes more all at once fucking his wife. And she loves every second.
Mark doesn’t often join in. He gets excited, but he watches from the side, sometimes touching himself, sometimes just waiting…waiting for the moment that Julie comes back to him.
In that moment, after the humiliation and emasculation of the previous scene, he feels so lucky to have her back. He’s subordinate to her feminine power and more excited than ever before. Julie feels like the sexiest woman in the world. She comes back to him renewed, savouring her power over him, teasing his weakness and having a newfound love for her one true man.
The Submissive & The Orchestrator
Lola & Tom are in a long-term relationship. They’ve always had an exciting power dynamic in sex. Tom is quite dominant, and Lola is happily subordinate to him. However, they’re both open minded beings, and are interested in taking this dynamic to another level.
Tom revels in the idea that Lola is ‘his’, and Lola enjoys this too, however being a submissive sexpot, she also likes the idea of other men having her. So this is how their hotwifing goes. Tom orchestrates a situation. Sometimes, he agrees with some friends to ‘share’ Lola.
He invites them over, and starts touching her subtly in front of them. He invites his friends to touch her as well, and by the end of the night, Lola is being fucked by Tom and all of his friends. Other nights, Tom arranges a secret meeting for Lola. She dresses up and he gives her the address of a hotel and a room.
When she knocks on the door, an acquaintance of theirs awaits. She’s barely through the door before he lifts her dress and takes her. It’s exhilarating, the not knowing, the newness, the level of submission. Tom watches it all on a camera- he revels in seeing her so submissive from an outsider’s perspective and he loves knowing that he’s the perpetrator.
By the time she gets home, he’s raring to show her who’s boss. She loves the feeling of being taken by her boyfriend still with the scent and substance of another man all over her.
These are just 2 examples of how hotwifing can be explored. You might see that a lot of the excitement comes from differing power dynamics. It’s important to remember that these situations should be explored with consent given in advance from everybody involved.
Feeling desire is not something we should feel ashamed about or try to hide. If you want more from your relationship, the adult thing to do is tell your partner. What can emerge from this honesty is something a whole lot more exciting and whole lot less anxiety inducing than cheating.
The key to a solid hotwifing relationship is maintaining a strong emotional connection with your partner. Always provide support and reassurance to your partner, and be attentive to any concerns or insecurities that may arise. Regularly communicate and address any issues that come up.
There’s plenty of ways to explore hotwifing. If you’re on the lookout for a progressive, sex positive community, look no further than Sensuali.
It’s a space full of like-minded people searching for consensual but thrilling sensual experiences, without shame or stigma.
Remember, life is too short to abide by moral codes that deep down don’t satisfy your needs. There’s no need in 2023 to feel weighed down by a monotonous routine- the world is fast changing. So embrace the thrill, get out there and make your hotwife dreams a reality!
Iso
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
