How often would you say you fake orgasms? With normal hookups versus daddies versus long term partners?
I fake orgasms probably mostly with long term partners and long term daddies. With one-off daddies and casual hookups, I’m less inclined to fake it. I normally can cum anyway if it’s the first time I’m fucking someone, purely due to the excitement of the newness, and if I can’t come I don’t feel as pressured to fake it because I don’t care as much about what they think or about making them feel good.
How are you able to convince guys you successfully came? I tried doing it once and was so unconvincing I was like, “Omg I can never do this again!”
Well, I find I really get into the role! I center it around my breathing. I start to very gradually, increase my breaths, after a certain point I close my eyes, as if I’m starting to get really into it. They tend to respond and become more intense with what they’re doing, which helps.
I honestly start getting dizzy and hot because of my intensified breathing, and I start tensing up in my legs and stuff, then at the point of orgasm, it really is very similar to my real orgasms, the body twitches, the (subtle) moans, and all that jazz.
My face is quite flushed by that point as well- all down to the breathing. Sometimes, when I recall the sex, at first I think I actually did cum.. And then I’m like, oh wait, no I faked it, so I really start to believe my own lies…!
When did you start faking orgasms and why? Was it hard to cum? Did you not know what felt good for you? Did you just want to get it over with? Are you a people pleaser? Some combination of the above?
Probably around the age of 15/16. I was probably not as good at faking it back then. I think I orgasm from clitoral stimulation and from grinding on people, but boys would often not know what they were doing and be trying to just stick their fingers in me. I felt embarrassed to say what I wanted, so I would fake it because I didn’t want it to go on forever, and I wanted my partner to feel good about himself…so I guess it’s a people pleaser thing to a degree.
Nowadays it’s for different reasons. A big one is that guys normally want to make me cum before we have sex, but I don’t want that. When I come before sex, I don’t really enjoy the sex and then the guy doesn’t enjoy it as much either. I like faking it before the sex because it means I get some foreplay and feel super turned on just before we fuck and then I can come during the sex, which I love. All the while, the guy thinks I’ve already come so he’s feeling great about himself which helps how much he enjoys it too. It feels like a win-win!
Do you have trouble letting go in general / is orgasm something you have had or do have trouble achieving during sex? What about when it’s just you? (Only answer is comfortable as you feel, of course! No pressure).
Sexually, I have zero trouble letting go, and I have just as many real orgasms as I do fake. And I easily come from masturbation.
I think I struggle to be vocal in real life though and that translates to my sex life, so I would rather fake it when I’m not necessarily ready to come, rather than just tell my partner the truth.
Do you fake with serious partners? If yes, have you ever gotten to a point where you’re comfortable enough to be like “Yo you know those first three months when you thought you were making me cum, it turns out I was faking. Here’s how you can do better!” If so, tell me more.
Yes! I fake more with serious partners because I really want them to feel good about themselves and the sex we have, and I can’t always come when it’s the same person over and over because I have my days where I feel slightly desensitized, and like we’re just going through the motions, but that’s not their fault, in a way.
I did once tell my boyfriend half an hour after we fucked and he had come.
I was still feeling super horny and I hadn’t come, it was one time where I felt disempowered because I was unsatisfied and it wouldn’t go away, so I told him I faked it so we could go again!
Has a guy ever called you out for faking? How did that go down??
No one has ever suspected me of it….yet.
If / when you do talk to your girlfriends about it, what do they say? Do most of your friends also fake orgasms or do they say, “How could you be doing such a disservice to the women who have to fuck that dude you just slept with who now thinks he’s a stud when he really ain’t shit?”
Most of my friends are surprised, they say they really couldn’t fake it. It honestly feels so ingrained in me that I barely think twice about it, it never feels dishonest somehow… but now this interview is making me question my actions!!
Any funny stories about faking orgasms? (i.e “I got a little too into it and started convulsing” or “I let this guy think he made me cum 5 times so that he would take me out for dinner and be in a good mood.”
Guys love it when you have multiple orgasms. So yes, once or twice I have faked coming like 5 times in a row (which I have never actually done in reality!) I don’t make a habit of it, it’s just, if I can feel in the moment that they want me to come again and again, and they’re really into it, it makes me want to be into it. I get so much pleasure from pleasing, I actually get turned on by faking it and making them feel good, so I guess it all stems from that.
Is faking orgasms something you care to stop doing or decrease in frequency? Or is this something you have no qualms about doing as it helps you control situations and manage fragile male egos? (Either way, more power to you!)
It definitely helps me control situations and fragile male egos. I don’t feel bad after doing it, I feel like I got what I wanted, especially since I normally do have a real orgasm at some point after I’ve faked one. I think if I didn’t fake it, it could make the sex less good, because their ego would be bruised when I couldn’t come, or I would get bored if they kept trying and it would kill the vibe. However, I think it’s definitely a backwards thing to do, because realistically you should be able to be honest with the person you’re sleeping with.
Do you suspect a guy has ever faked an orgasm with you? If yes, spill the details. If no, how would you feel if he did?
I don’t think so! I guess it’s harder guys to fake it, however if someone did I would be completely mortified; I would hate to think that someone would feel inclined to do that, it feels pitiful! Nothing’s worse than pity. Perhaps that’s something I should take into consideration.
Would you say that overall you enjoy sex? Is it something that feels right with the right person but wrong when it’s a daddy you’re not into? Or can you just detach emotions and enjoy the physical experience regardless of who your bedmate is?
I very much enjoy sex overall. It’s better when you’re doing it with someone you connect with, but I can also find pleasure doing it with someone I’m not attracted to. I’m mostly turned on by the fact that they’re turned on by me, so that’s what it hinges on in a way.
Any closing thoughts?
I’ve never had sex with a woman, but if I did, I wonder if I would feel inclined to fake it… Anyhow, this has really made me think about whether faking orgasms is truly the way to go. Even if it makes me feel good, it probably does give men inflated egos and a warped perception on sex and female pleasure.
Jules
Based in Brooklyn, Jules has dedicated her twenties towards harnessing her pussy power, exploring the muse, whore, and wild woman archetypes along the way. When not blogging, you can find her sweating the toxins out in a hot yoga class or sipping a matcha latte at a pretentious coffee shop, whilst she scribbles away in her journal.
